I’m not sure what it says about the young man’s cognitive abilities, but he asked if I would play my horn for a recording project he’s doing for the local university. At first, I said no, but my resistance faded as the time drew nearer. When the day dawned, I showed up, horn in hand, at the designated location.
I had used the days preceding to prepare, reading through the arrangements and playing them over. I was familiar with the keys, with the accidentals, with the intervals. It’s never good to show up for a session without knowing the material.
They put me in the middle of a big, cold rehearsal hall, surrounded by high ceilings, hard walls, and a concrete floor. I looked nervously at the three microphones around my chair but decided to focus on the music and the task at hand instead.
Blowing a few warm-up notes through the horn, I was pleasantly surprised by the tone of my instrument. Emboldened by the full, slightly echoing timbre, I exclaimed to the young man in charge of the project about the “live” character of the room. Having experienced it himself as a vocalist in the university’s choir, he smiled and agreed that it was a wonderful room in which to make music.
I sat and doodled around on the horn, going over the passages in the music I was to play and attempting an arpeggio or two up and down the range of the instrument. It sounded amazing!
I sounded amazing!
Suddenly, I was excited about doing this project. People were going to hear what a wonderful horn player I was. I would play flawlessly (having prepared ahead of time) and the room would make the sound in their ears amazing!
But then, just before we were to begin recording, the technician strode out of the control room, moving briskly to the back wall of the hall. Not paying much attention, I was surprised to hear the rattle of solid, sound-dampening curtains being closed along the wall. Then, going to each of the side walls, he repeated the process.
Talk about a letdown!
The result was instantaneous. No longer did I hear the soundwaves from my horn bouncing off the walls, the slight delay causing a reverb and broadening effect to the tone. I might just as well have been in my living room at home, playing for the black labs outside the window. It was just me and my old horn.
The recording technician must be accustomed to this. He smiled at my crestfallen features and explained. “What we need for the recording is your horn, exactly as it sounds. If we want it, we’ll add the reverb and big room sound later.”
I nodded and settled in to do what I came for. The session moved quickly and, an hour later, the young man professed to be satisfied with the result.
I wasn’t.
I’ve had a few days to think about it, and I’m still disappointed. And yet, somehow the experience has brought a little clarity to this fuzzy head of mine.
The first thing my mind jumps to is social media. I know that may seem odd, but it should begin to make sense in a paragraph or two.
It’s impossible to look at our most prevalent information source these days without seeing (and reading) things and people that are fake (or at least embellished). Much of the reading we do is sorted through a political or religious filter before it reaches us. The information begins as clean, unvarnished truth, but before we see the words, they’ve filtered through the propaganda of the particular organization from which they come.
The result is confusion and polarization.
On the social side, most of the photos we see can be assumed to be altered, as well.
The cosmetics industry is a multi-billion-dollar business, seemingly in no danger of being replaced by another short-lived fad at any time in the foreseeable future. That said, there are these filters…
In huge numbers, folks are using digital filters that alter their appearance to anyone who happens across their photo or their video as they’re scrolling online. No makeup is required. Simply apply an app that gives the effect they want and instantly the image thousands or millions of viewers see is what the person wants them to see, instead of showing how the subject actually appears in real life.
The result is jealousy and devasting comparisons, leading to poor self-image for many and really bad life decisions for some.
Prettier, older, younger, richer, skinnier—you name it, there’s a way to fool folks into believing your story.
I want folks to believe I’m a better musician than I am. If the room acoustics help with that artifice, that’s just fine with me.
Come to think of it, I want you to think I’m a better person than I am. I’m not above using situations and assumptions to carry on with that pretense. I’m not afraid to use whatever filters are available to modify the image, either.
The problem is, it’s a lie. A not-so-baldfaced lie.
So, now you know what I want.
But here’s what I want to want: To be real.
Pretty simple, isn’t it? Well, it’s simple to say; not so simple to deliver. Or, maybe it’s simpler than we imagine.
This is the bottom line: God has given us the ability to want what He wants, as well as the power to do it. It’s right there in black and white.
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. ( Philippians 2:13, NLT)
And He sees what’s underneath the powder and paint, hears our real voice without the added effects, and knows our hearts.
Filters down, special effects off, He sees us.
He sees. Us.
And, I’m okay with that. I do want to play the music on the page with a pure tone.
Well—I want to want that.
It’s a start. Time will tell.
Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don’t fool. (Robert Brault)
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7, NLT)
© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2022. All Rights Reserved.