I’m not sure they’re right.

I’m not sure they’re wrong, either.  They could be.

But they could be right, too.

I made a mistake the other day—one I thought I could rectify with minimal effort.  I wrote a cute little note about my recent experience with the Internal Revenue Service and posted it on social media. 

I was trying to be funny.  It was a little funny.  A little.  And, come to think of it, more than a little snarky.

In the post, I suggested that the IRS folks I had dealt with by telephone that day weren’t very good with numbers.  Just a little sarcastic tweak at the huge bureaucracy’s nose.

The problem is, I don’t like to be seen as snarky.  I don’t want to be thought of as not nice.  So, I added a few words.  Just a few.  To make myself look better.

. . .I don’t get to keep the large sum they sent me this week. I’m okay with that.

They did the job.  The words, I mean. Making myself look better.

The check was for a huge amount.  To my mind, anyway.  The fellow on the phone, who took nearly an hour to decide, told me it was mine to keep.  Well, mine and the Lovely Lady’s.

Only, I knew it wasn’t.

The next day, armed with documentation, I called them again and, taking another hour out of my life, convinced the kind lady that the money wasn’t mine.

She told me where to mail the check.

My friends think I have integrity.

As I said, they could be right.  I think they may not be.

I want them to be.  Right, that is.

Can we talk about integrity?  Again?

I’ve written about it before.  If you’ve read those articles, you may remember I used the example of a piece of cloth, woven neatly and with good thread. In my mind, it’s the very definition of integrity.

The cloth is stronger than the sum of the threads.  But, I’m not.  Stronger, I mean.

In the back of my mind, I know the cost of keeping money that doesn’t belong to me.  Oh, I don’t mean the guilty feelings that come inevitably.  And, they will come.

What I mean is, I’ve seen what the IRS does when it realizes it made a mistake.  The penalties.  The interest charges.  The seizing of the entire bank account until their agents are satisfied.

And, again in the back of my mind, I wonder; did I send the money back because I don’t want to pay that penalty?  Was I afraid I’d get caught?  That’s not integrity.

It’s not.

Integrity is about doing the right thing.  Because it’s the right thing.

Period.

Integrity is about doing the right thing. Because it's the right thing. Period. Share on X

It’s the whole cloth holding together, because every thread is in its place, doing what it does.  Strong.  Steadfast.

I like to read.  A lot.  I learn from reading.  Good things.  Bad things.  And, at my age, I keep wondering when I’ll have learned all the new things I can glean from other writers.

Obviously, not yet.

The other day, as I read a historical novel, the description of a phrase inscribed above the entrance to some imaginary palace caught my attention.  Arrested my attention.  Made me read it again.  And, yet again.

You’ll understand when you read it for yourself.

Esse quam videri

See what I mean?

Oh, sorry.  Latin may not have been the right language in which to introduce the concept.  Let me make a literal translation (from a Latin dictionary; not from my feeble brain) for you.

To be as seen.

It’s often expressed as to be, rather than to seem.  That’s okay, but I like the literal, word-for-word, translation better.  We in the computer age have a similar phrase, expressed in equally unintelligible language.

WYSIWYG

What you see is what you get.  It works with computers. Not so much with humans.

It should.

Why does God have to look on the inside, while man is fooled by outside appearances? (1 Samuel 16:7)

Why aren’t they the same thing? 

Facades, masks, clever disguises—we manage to look the part, one way or another.  Even we who claim to follow Jesus have our deceptions in place.

Alive and beautiful on the outside. But, what if there’s death and decay on the inside?

The world is not wrong when it labels us hypocrites.  The word simply means, actors.  Someone who pretends for his/her livelihood.  I don’t know many in the world who are not that themselves, but it should be different for us. 

It should.

Mr. Lewis may be accurate when he says that integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching, but there’s more to it than that.  A lot more.

Integrity is about telling the truth even when it costs.  It’s about being generous even when one is impoverished.  It’s about controlling my tongue when all around folks are sharing the latest gossip.  It’s about not drinking the milk from the carton even when the Lovely Lady isn’t looking.

It’s about all those things.  But, those things aren’t integrity.

Integrity isn’t about doing.  It’s about being.

Integrity isn't about doing. It's about being. Share on X

Because what is in the heart is what will always—eventually—bubble up to the surface.  The thing that is at the bottom of who I am, my very foundation, is the thing I will do and become.

A word of caution.  If I believe myself to be a man of integrity and proclaim it to be so, you should assume there is some filthy secret hidden in that foundation that will become known soon.  I’ve seen it too many times.  You have too. 

The apostle who loved to write letters, my namesake—who, by the way, had reason to understand the principle personally—suggested that when we believe we are standing firmly on both feet, we should be careful not to get hurt in the fall. (1 Corinthians 10:12)

I want to be a man of integrity.  Want to be. 

I’m not that man.  Too often, my integrity is guaranteed only by the odds that someone is watching, or that someone will eventually uncover my offense.

But, I want to be that man.

Someday, I will be him.

No mask.  No facade.  No disguise.

Esse quam videri

To be as seen.

 

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
(Philippians 1:6 ~ NLT ~ Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

 

The image is one thing, and the human being is another.  It’s very hard to live up to an image, put it that way.
(Elvis Presley ~ American singer/entertainer ~ 1935-1977)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2018. All Rights Reserved.