Overwhelmed.
“You’ve got that look in your eyes again,” she says, with a worried look in her own. She doesn’t have to tell me.
Over the last few years, the look has come to my eyes more and more often. I want to blame it on getting older. I want to say it is the result of caring too much, of being too conscientious.
I want to. I can’t.
I like historical perspective. I want to think it makes the future more predictable. I’m beginning to believe, rather than providing focus, that the past often makes the path ahead more blurry.
______________________________________________
Are you a collector? Do you have things that you gather up and hoard?
I do. Old shoes.
No, really.
In my closet, there is a pile of black leather shoes. Each pair looks just like the other. Size ten and a half. D width. There are probably six pairs of Rockwell Pro-Walker shoes sitting on the floor. Well, they may be piled up someplace else, too. I really don’t recall.
You see, I buy a new pair of the same shoes each year. The old ones get worn and don’t look so good, nor do they feel as comfortable as they first did. I don’t buy lots of shoes, don’t need a different shoe for every occasion, just the Rockwell Pro-Walkers. And, I do realize that old, worn-out shoes have limited uses. One of the reasons I keep them around is for when I need to do dirty work: digging in the mud, mowing the lawn, or other such tasks. But, I suppose one pair would suffice for that.
Why then, do I have six pairs of old shoes in my closet? (There would be more, but I’m pretty sure the Lovely Lady sneaks them out to the trash when I’m not looking.) I really can’t explain it. There might be a lot of dirty jobs to do and I’ll have to have more than just one pair of old worn-out shoes. I don’t want to need them and not have them. What if the ones I use for mowing get torn up? What then?
_______________________________________________
“Be still my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.”
(from the hymn “Be Still My Soul” ~ Katharina Von Schegel)
“Charity gives itself rich; Covetousness hoards itself poor.”
(Old German proverb)