We had an argument the other night.  I knew it would happen.  The Lovely Lady and I have been married for 32 years, and it was bound to come up sooner or later.  We are amazingly well-suited to be married to each other; She likes the same foods I do (mostly), we like the same kind of music–well, I like it louder than she does, but at least it’s the same music,  and she loves Monday Night Football too (How cool is that?).  Even so, we both knew the storm was coming, but it’s not within our power to avoid it.  Cold weather comes and our major incompatibility will become an item for discussion.  The first night that the bed is really cold when I get under the covers, we both know that the day of reckoning is at hand.

In the warmer months, I can overlook the annoyance. The sheet and coverlet are thrown on my side of the bed every morning, but no matter;  I don’t mind a little extra warmth.  I get into the car after she’s been driving and the vent is blasting cold air straight at my face, a problem remedied with just a flick of the finger.  If it’s too cold in the house during the evening, a walk outside will regulate the inner thermostat.  Fortunately, she tends to be the thrifty one in the family, so I don’t usually have to weather much of an icy environment, since powering the A/C is pricey.  Thus, for most of the year, our incompatibility doesn’t affect our relationship much.  A joke here, a gently barbed quip there, and the discussion is over, for the most part.

But, cold weather…that’s a different issue completely.  As the nights get cooler, we’ll add a blanket here and there for warmth, and the solution works for awhile.  But after a bit, the stack of blankets gets too heavy for the human body to comfortably lie under, and besides that, the bed is frigid when I get into it.  That suits her fine, but I don’t adapt well to cold, nor does my body warm up rapidly, so I shiver and groan with the chill for  some time after arriving in bed.  The antidote, perfectly simple in my estimation, is to pull off all the extra covers, replacing them with our electric blanket and a light thermal blanket.  It is, after all, a dual control blanket, with a control for my side (set to 5 most nights) and one for hers (often, no light to be seen in the dark room at all).  The argument against my obviously rational suggestion, is nothing more than the desire on her part to postpone the inevitable for as long as possible.  My guess is that the change from blankets, which can be thrown off one by one to regulate one’s temperature, to only a single cover which, if thrown off, leaves one completely bereft of any protection at all, is the problem.  You might say it’s an all or nothing situation, so she either suffers under the “stifling” (her term) heavy blanket or shivers without a cover at all.  I must admit that I’m not very sympathetic (and she really is a sweetheart), so the argument is short-lived as always.

I’ll leave here in a few moments, to slide luxuriously under the warm blanket, being careful to stop short of the halfway mark in the bed (Hey, it’s cold over there!).  What opulence, the warmth of a preheated bed, awaiting my entry!  No more quivering in the cold, awaiting the temperature rise that may or may not arrive.  I find in myself a self-indulgence I never suspected, but there is no shame.  Comfort, thy name is electric blanket!

Now, if we could just do something about the crispy bacon issue, I’d be in paradise!