Always On Time

image by Gerd Altmann on Pixabay

We celebrated the boy’s birthday yesterday.  It wasn’t the actual day on the calendar, but he had a day off and the rest of us were free, so we scheduled the dinner.

It was only a few days ago we decided on the date.  The Lovely Lady and I had a short trip to Tennessee that took a couple of those days.  Before we knew it, we were almost upon the date and we hadn’t ordered a present.

But, you know there’s this online service (the name sounds a bit like a piece of beef you’d order in an upscale restaurant) that promises delivery in two days.

We were sure it would be on time.

The day came and I checked my email for tracking.  All seemed okay, with the package having arrived at the local distribution center early that morning.

It would be on time.

Further checks throughout the day told a different story.  At noon, the package was still in the distribution center.  I checked at four o’clock, with the same story.

It wouldn’t be on time.

At five, we sat down to dinner with the family, including the boy.  Dinner proceeded, finishing in about half an hour.

Time to open presents.

Ours wasn’t there.

With great disappointment, we told him we’d have to get it to him the next time we saw him.  He’s a strong independent young man, who had no intention of making his grandparents sad.

“No problem at all!  I’ll just have my birthday longer!”

We laughed.  I checked my phone again.

“Out for Delivery,” read the screen!

Ten minutes later, the delivery vehicle was in the street in front of the house.  Eagerly, he tore open the package we handed him.

On time!

Our best efforts seemed to be thwarted, but instead, the package was right on time.

Right.  On.  Time.

I’m not good at the patience thing.  I watch the clock, clicking the refresh button on my screen, disappointed every time.

The Preacher said there was a time and season for everything.  Everything.

To everything there is a season,
A
nd a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

(Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV)

I don’t want to wait.  I want the answer now!  Well before the deadline, I want to hold it in my hand, certain that I am prepared for whatever comes.

And yet, our Father up above created time, and the seasons, and the answers we crave.  He’s the one who knew exactly when to send His Son.

“But when the fullness of the time came, God sent His Son. . .that we might receive the adoption as sons and daughters.”
(Galatians 4: 4-5, NASB)

His gifts are good.  They are perfect.

They are on time.

There are a number of those gifts I’m still waiting on.  (Patience, for one.)

I wasn’t sure about the online service.  I’m confident—absolutely certain—about His timing.

He’s always on time.  Always.

I’ll wait.  You?

 

“God’s timing is always perfect. Trust His delays. He’s got you.”
(Tony Evans)

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.”
(James 1:17, NASB)

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2024. All Rights Reserved.

 

Not Home Anymore

It’s not really our home, you know.

I said the words jokingly—actually, only half jokingly—to a guest in our house the other day.

The visitor was visibly surprised.  We’ve lived in the house for a decade and a half, filling the walls with artwork we’ve chosen to fit our taste, and the bookcases with volumes to feed our souls.

The walls still seem to echo with the voices of our grandchildren and college students around the table.  If I listen carefully, I can almost hear the Lovely Lady’s mother’s musical laugh, her idiosyncrasies and stories far outlasting her years on this earth.

The Doxology still rings in the air, sung by voices young and old scattered around the little dining room.  And, before the strains of that beautiful old hymn of praise die down, one may be able to make out the joyful carols sung so many times over the years inside these thick brick walls. 

Many whom we love have crossed the threshold of this wonderful old house while we’ve resided here, a better home than I ever imagined it would be.  The welcome here was always warm, the food delicious, the fellowship all one could ask for.

That was then. 

Home is the place where even the host feels welcome, the retreat where the world is left behind at the door, even if only for a little while.

And God said to Paul and his Lovely Lady, leave behind this beautiful and welcoming home, along with the music store, your vocation and place of ministry for the last thirty years, and go to a place I will show you.  But, not yet.

But, not yet.

Am I comparing my circumstances to Abraham’s?  Really?  I tell you, there have been times over the last few months when I would have told you he had it easy compared to me.

All Abraham had to do was to obey and walk.  God showed him the rest.  Under the great oak tree at Shechem, God waved an arm around and declared that everything he saw was his.  Home.

I hope there is little need for me to reassure the reader I have no illusions about my importance in the grand scheme.  I’m well aware of the part Father Abraham had yet to play in the history of mankind.  

I understand the great faith it took for Abram to leave his family and country and travel, not knowing where he would end up.  I only make the comparison because this Hero of faith had merely to take one step after another until the Lord told him to stop.

A pilgrim no more, he would be home.  Home.

But, I’m sure many can identify with this unsettled feeling I have deep down when I look around me in this old house.  It’s not my home anymore.  Oh, my name (and the Lovely Lady’s) is on the title, but my home is somewhere else.

Or, it would be if I could leave here.  There are still a number of things that have to happen before I walk out the door for the last time.

So, I keep walking back in every evening.  I keep sleeping in (what will be) someone else’s bedroom.  I work in an office that will never truly be mine again.

I’ve got one foot firmly planted in the present, and the other poised to take the next step—to a different place entirely.

It should be time to close one chapter and move to the next.  Only, I keep reading the last paragraph again and again.

I don’t write these words to get sympathy.  Not at all.  I do wonder though, if anyone else can identify with how I’m feeling.

Anyone?

This unsettled feeling—this impatience and restlessness—I wonder, did our Savior ever feel it?

Earth was never His home.  He left His home to live here temporarily, before returning to His rightful home.  (Philippians 2:6-8)

He wasn’t welcome, didn’t get settled in.  He came to His people and they didn’t accept Him.  (John 1:11)  

He didn’t even have a place he wanted to call His own.  The birds and animals had homes, but the Son of Man didn’t even have a place to lay His head.  (Matthew 8:20)

He didn’t settle in.  He never got comfortable.  He was Creator of all that is and there was no place here for Him to call home.

The task for which He came still lay ahead of Him.  And, after that—home.  

Really.  Home.

And, after that—home. Really. Home. Share on X

I’m realizing something, these days as I miss the home that was and look forward to the home that will be.  I’m realizing I’ll never really be settled-in there either.  It may be the place I reside for the rest of my life—or not.  Regardless, it won’t really be home, either.

Just as now, when I gaze across the bridge to the next place, in my heart, I’ll someday be looking across the river to that place, my last and final destination and feel the need to go home.

I may even wonder, as I do now, why I have to wait—why I have to keep one foot in the present and have the other ready to take that step into eternity.

For right now, I’d settle for simply taking the next step.

Just one will do.

For a start.

Leaving home—to go home.

 

And then it happens all at once and unexpectedly. That is how things happen, I suppose. You pack your bags and find yourself walking yourself home.
(Shannon L Alder ~ American author)

 

Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God.
(Hebrews 11:10 ~ NLTHoly Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. All rights reserved.)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2017. All Rights Reserved.

The Journey

I suppose not everyone is in a hurry in the world now.  Still, it certainly seems they are.

I’ve noticed it for a few years, but I think it’s worse today than ever before.  Most places, anyway.  Retail stores, internet websites, food establishments, banks—everywhere one looks, the world caters to folks speeding through life.

But, for just a few moments today—just a few—I found a slowing down place.

Our old friends met at the local steak house again this evening, annoying the waitstaff as we sat at the table long after the dishes had been cleared away, and troubling other diners nearby as we laughed loudly and told stories of family, life, and faith. 

Ah, friendship, that shares in the joys, and hardships, and triumphs of life.  Here, life slows to a crawl and time waits, if only for a few moments.

But even in this blessed pause, I felt the encroachment of hurry and impatience, at least momentarily.

Describing a trip out west they had recently taken, one of the couples suggested we should, if we ever had the chance, travel Interstate 70 through Colorado into Utah.  They both described the route in words that made us understand the breathtaking beauty of the towering Rocky Mountains which it traverses.  

But there, among the description of the beauties of creation, was the statement that reminded me of the harried pace of our lives.

And, when you reach Utah, the speed limit on the highway is eighty miles per hour.

It is, arguably, one of the most beautiful drives in our vast country, through some of the most picturesque vistas imaginable, and yet, folks drive through it as fast as they possibly can.

I stop to think about it for a moment, but everything has gone all white—and green.

In my mind, the Lovely Young Lady, red hair flying in the wind, and her skinny husband are cruising in the newly-painted old 1955 Chevy through the Ozark Mountains of southern Missouri.  The Alpine White two-door sedan motors smoothly through the green-covered hillsides, purring right along.

Slowly.  Really slowly.

It is the first road trip the old car has made in many years, indeed, the first road trip the young couple has ever made in it.  They are in no hurry.  None at all.

It was thirty-five years ago, but the memories are still so very distinct.

At no time on that long weekend did the beautiful old car top fifty miles per hour, and scarcely did we exceed even forty-five. We took our time, admiring the scenery along the road, stopping when we wanted, driving on when we were ready.

I remember sitting with our backs to a rocky bluff, on the footpath up above a noisy river, watching the fishermen below casting their fly lures, the weighted lines catching the sunlight and undulating in the air as they were flipped forward and back again and again.

Time seemed to stand still.

On that memorable weekend, all those years ago, we drove on nothing but back roads, never once entering the ramp to a freeway or divided highway.

But life moves on and we do, as well.  And, while we move, time seems to speed up, encouraging us to do the same.  

We listen and acquiesce.

On a recent outing to a town nearby, as we came off of one divided highway we had traveled at high speeds and approached the intersection of another, she reminded me of the tendency for traffic to jam up at the traffic light.

I know.  I’m turning onto the back road up ahead so we can avoid all that and still make good time.

Once, we took the back roads so we could take our time.  Today, we use them as shortcuts to get there more quickly.

I’d like to have more of those slow-down trips and fewer of the hurry-up ones.

And indeed, there are still days when we take the back roads, not to avoid the traffic, but simply to enjoy the drive.

 There are days we take the back roads, not to avoid traffic, but just to enjoy the journey. Share on X

The Preacher suggested we would be better off if we did it more often when he said that eagerness without comprehension is pointless and hurry produces inferior results. (Proverbs 19:2)

Mr. Franklin said it more succinctly a few thousand years later.  Haste makes Waste.

There are things we should hurry to:

The aid of someone in need.

The side of one who is overcome with grief.

The assistance of a brother or sister who is losing sight of the prize.

But, all of life is not to be lived in a frenzy to get to the destination.  Rather we bless and are blessed along the way, as we take time to enjoy our Creator and our fellow man.

We bless and are blessed along the way. Share on X

Eighty miles per hour is too fast to take in the astounding wonders all around us.

It’s time to ride the back roads again for a little while.

The journey is worthwhile.  There is great beauty along the way.

The destination is still out there.  Up ahead.

Patience. 

 

 

It is easier to shout “stop” than to do it.
(from The Two Towers ~ J.R.R. Tolkien)

 

But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.
(Romans 8:25 ~ NLTHoly Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. All rights reserved.)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2017. All Rights Reserved.

The Ladder

Let’s just put in a new window.

She had a point.  The old single-hung window was pathetic, the lower pane broken, with a piece of plywood covering the missing glass.   The combination of dirty, scratched glass and the not-so-efficient plywood patch made it seem that the natural light outside had to squeeze its way in, rather than streaming in from the sky, as one would expect.  The paint on the window frame is peeling and it is easy to see that water has been leaking onto the wood for years.  Perhaps it really is finished.

One might have thought that—before today.

Today, I made what seemed like fifteen trips up a ladder with the sole intent of proving the old window still had some life left in it.  Fifteen trips up to a window twelve feet off the ground.  Fifteen trips back down.

I carried tools up to remove the old glass, tools to clean out the old glazing compound and glazier’s points, tools to scrape peeling paint, and even a tool to make sure the window won’t keep sliding open on its own.  I brought broken panes down.  I carried new panes up.

In between, I stood near the top of the ladder and labored.

Tomorrow, I’ll make a few more trips up and down.

The window is going to be fine.  Really.  The building contractor working on the new house next door to my old one looked over at it this afternoon and told me so.  He says it’s looking great.

The window is going to be fine.

I’m not so sure about me.  The old legs are shaky tonight.  Muscles ache and I have a slight cramp in the arch of my foot, where it rested on the rung—when it wasn’t climbing up or down the rest of the rungs.

I had a different scenario in mind when I insisted we save the old window.  It involved one trip up the ladder.  It involved one trip down the ladder.

No one wants to cover ground they’ve already covered.  Like Longfellow’s blacksmith, we want to see something attempted and something done.  Just like that—all on the same day.

Try.  Do.  Wipe your hands.

Tomorrow, I’ll go up the ladder again.  And very possibly, the next day, I’ll go up the ladder again.

And, in that realization, I see before me the analogy of my existence these days.

Each morning finds me in the same valley, looking up at the job I know must be done.  The mountain must be climbed, tasks will be attempted, but it seems certain the goal won’t be reached.

Weary and frustrated, I’ll slide down the mountainside one more time, only to tackle it again tomorrow.  The words Mr. Shakespeare put into the mouth of Macbeth centuries ago make their way even now into my own: Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.

Hmmm.  One might get the idea I’m discouraged.  Perhaps, even angry.  

I have been.  Both of them.

As I did today when I descended the ladder for the last time, I have looked up and have seen, not the progress which has been made, but the great amount of the task yet to be accomplished.  

Standing on the ground, looking up this afternoon, even after hearing my contractor friend praise my attempts, it was easy to wonder why I even considered reviving that old window.

What an astonishing waste of time!  How do I justify the effort and expense?

And yet…

As I put away the tools and my ladder, a thought hit me.  They do that, you know.

I wonder what it looks like from inside the room?

Wearily, but with just a hint of anticipation, I clomped up the rough staircase inside.

I won’t say I was awestruck.  I wasn’t.  Still, as I stepped off the top step into the room, the difference was surprising.  Light, from the sunny Spring sky, filled the room.  All the dingy impediment of the old panes was a thing of memory.  

Now, we’re getting somewhere!

Sometimes, all it takes is to look at the thing from a different perspective.  We’ve been looking at it from the same side for so long, we can’t see how close we are to reaching the goal.

Tomorrow will be another day.  The journey still beckons, in all of its unromantic tedium.

I’ll climb the ladder again.  And again.

It’s how the light gets inside.

Climb the ladder again tomorrow. It's how the light gets in. Share on X

 

 

Toiling, rejoicing, sorrowing,
Onward through life he goes;
Each morning sees some task begin,
Each evening sees it close
Something attempted, something done,
Has earned a night’s repose.
(from The Village Blacksmith ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~ American poet ~ 1807-1882)

 

Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.
“For in just a little while,

the Coming One will come and not delay.
And my righteous ones will live by faith…”
(Hebrews 10: 36-38 ~ NLT)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2017. All Rights Reserved.

I’ve Got All Day

Ten o’clock sharp.  Every weekday morning.  The door is unlocked and the music store is open for business.

It says so on the door in black and white:  Business hours: 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM

Right on the door.  In black and white.

I actually arrive most mornings an hour early.  Preparations need to be made.  Loose ends are tied up from the previous day’s business.  Orders have to be assembled.  Repairs sometimes need to be completed.  I want to be ready for the customers who will walk through the door each day.

I see them in the parking lot.  Nearly every morning, vehicles pull off the street and pause before the front door.  They’re reading that business hours sign.  They always leave—well, nearly always.

Earlier this week, as I readied the cash register at about a quarter to ten, I noticed a nondescript economy car pulling up to the store.  I ignored it, certain they would back out and leave, to return after I opened up.  I was wrong.

Wham! Wham! Wham!

The door rattled with the force of the blows.  I wasn’t ready to open up yet, besides which, I tend to be a little obstinate when rushed before hours.  I didn’t open the door.  A car door slammed outside and I heard a tiny bit of tire-rubber being deposited on the asphalt as the driver left.

I think he was unhappy.

And yet, at 10:05 when he returned (the door then being unlocked), there was no indication of any residual discontent.  Our conversation was cordial—friendly, even.  It was interesting to hear him talk about his day.  He said it more than once, so I’m fairly certain it was so:

“I’ve got the whole day off. I’m just going to take my time and do whatever I want.”

I’m confused.

The door pounding?  The tire squealing?  Something’s not right here.  The sign clearly gives perspective on what one would expect.  Experience with other retail establishments would discourage such actions.

woman-1243250_640And, he’s got all day.  No hurry at all.

Why is virtue so hard?  You know—patience is a virtue, good things come to those who wait—things like that.  

Why is it so difficult, then?

I don’t have the answer to that.  But, I do find myself thinking about the impetuous man.  In quiet hours, I wonder.

I’ve got a whole lifetime.  He had only one day.  A whole lifetime, to live my life.  Yet constantly, I am impatient—antsy to get on with things.

You too?

It’s funny.  We have the signs that tell us what to expect.  Springtime and harvest.  Day follows night.  One man plants, another harvests.  To everything there is a season.  All written in black and white for us to read.

But, we stand at the door, not being able to see what’s happening behind it, and we pound with our fists, perhaps even kicking it with our feet.

We know the truth.  Our times are in His hands.  For all our uncertainty and stumbling in the darkness, we believe He controls all that happens to us.  (Psalm 31:15)

Or, do we?

He says wait, and we fidget—be patient, and we worry.

We’ve got all our lives.  And, we can’t add one millisecond to those lives by worrying.  He says that, too.

His plan is being worked out in us.  He began the work; He’ll complete it. (Philippians 1:6)

Wait.  

He knows how much time we’ve got.  Pounding on the door won’t change His plan.  Laying rubber in the parking lot will have no effect whatsoever.

Do you know that waiting builds us into the people we were intended to be?  I hope I’m not stretching here.  

They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength.  They shall mount up on wings as the eagles do.  They’ll run and not grow tired.  They’ll walk and not become faint.  (Isaiah 40:31)

Patience, my friends.  

The doors will open wait-661072_640at exactly the right time and we’ll be welcomed in.

It says so right there in black and white.

Wait.  Patiently.

Wait.

 

 

Have patience.  Have patience.
Don’t be in such a hurry.
When you get impatient,
You only start to worry.
Remember.  Remember,
That God is patient, too.
And think of all the times
When others have to wait for you.
(from Music Machine ~ Hernandez/Powell ~ Singer/Songwriters)

 

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all.Who hopes for what they already have?  But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
(Romans 8:24-25 ~ NIV)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved.

Stand and Wait

I can count.  I learned how to do it in first grade.  Really.

With a wry smile, the orchestra conductor waved her hand in a circle to cut off the entire group.  The entire group!  Most of the musicians waited to hear what the problem was, but I knew.  I knew.

The wry smile was aimed at me. Twenty-one measures, I had counted.  Twenty-one groups of four beats, following the movement of her baton.  

I counted—one-two-three-four, two-two-three-four, three-two-three-four, four-two-three-four—all the way up to twenty-one and then three more beats before I played my notes.  At least, that’s what I was supposed to do.

I had only to play five notes—just five—one after another, at the same time the flute soloist played her melody.  It should have been heavenly.  Should have been.

It wasn’t.

When I played my notes—my five notes—the flute wasn’t playing.  Well, not until the last one I played.

She came in when she was supposed to.  I hadn’t waited long enough.

My job was to wait the correct number of beats and play just five notes.

I came in too early.  I was supposed to wait.

Do you know how hard it is to wait?  All around me, the instruments were making music.  I counted fifteen-two-three-four under my breath, and they played music.  When I got to twenty-two-three-four, they were still playing and I wasn’t.

heinrich-bender-906556_1280I was supposed to wait.  It would have been great if I had waited.  Instead, we went back to the beginning of the section and everyone—except for me—played their notes again.

I counted.  And waited.  The right number of beats this time.

It was a thing of beauty.  My five notes, played in harmony with the flute part.  

A thing of beauty.  Because I waited.

Do you know why orchestra music sounds so good?  You think it’s because of all the talented musicians, don’t you?  Perhaps, you think the beauty comes because of all the top-quality instruments they manipulate?  Some of them can cost thousands of dollars.

May I tell you the real thing which makes the music wonderful?

The musicians know how to wait.

That’s right—they know how to wait. 

The composer has given each a part to play.  The correct key signature is designated, the perfect time signature for the style of piece, even the speed at which they will proceed is decreed.

It is true, they must read the notes and play the correct pitch.  The instruments must be in tune with each other, and a good quality violin—or trumpet—or oboe—helps to achieve that purpose.

But, all those things are of no consequence if one thing does not happen.

The individual musicians have to know when to sit silently.  They have to wait.

The composer writes the rests into the music with just as much intent, just as much purpose, as he/she does the actual notes which are sounded and heard.

When an individual neglects to wait the correct number of beats—exactly the right number—no more, no less—the result is disastrous.  Harmonies are lost.  Counter-melodies become simply melodies out of place, with nothing to complement them.  

What should have been heavenly is horrible.

All because one horn player left his place four beats early.

I hate rests.

I do not take well to waiting.

All of life is an orchestra, isn’t it?

The Composer has set into place each activity, each opportunity for service, and we have but to enter at the correct time.  Sometimes, we get to sit on the sidelines and wait.

I’m not the only one who hates waiting, am I?  

I’m sure I’m not.  

I read tonight about King David’s men who fought and won a great battle, while a fair number of their group stayed behind with the gear and the food.  After the battle the king, against the wishes of those who had actually fought in the battle, gave the men who stayed with the stuff an equal share of the spoils of battle.  (1 Samuel 30:22-25)

An equal share—because they waited.

He made it the law of the land.  Those who stayed in the camp and guarded the food and equipment were to be given an amount equal to those who actually marched into battle and won the victory.

A well-known phrase comes to mind;  They also serve, who only stand and wait.

The poet John Milton wrote the sonnet, as he lost his eyesight.  He realized that, before his strength was gone, his light was spent.  Wanting to serve actively, reality dictated what his role was actually to be.

He would wait.

And waiting, he would serve.

It goes against all our society teaches.  Move quickly!  Be efficient!  Work!  Produce!  Never slow down!

Against that frantic activity, the backdrop of rest—of waiting for the moment when one is most needed—is almost anticlimactic.  We hate waiting.

Sometimes, the score tells us to wait.  For us to jump in with our frenetic busy-ness would be completely wrong.  The result would be disaster—chaos.

Wait.

I’m practicing counting my measures for the next time I play with the orchestra.  It will please our conductor immensely.

I wonder though—do we have as much interest in pleasing the Composer/Conductor who has the score all written out for our lives?  

From beginning to end, we enter to play our part and it can be beautiful, as well as harmonious.  It will, however, be that only if we have come in at the right time.

I’m learning to wait.  Still.

He’ll give me the cue when it’s time to come back in.

I can count on it.

 

 

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodg’d with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest he returning chide;
“Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?”
I fondly ask. But Patience to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: “God doth not need
Either man’s work or his own gifts; who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly. Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o’er land and ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait.”
(John Milton ~ English poet ~ 1608-1674)

 

Wait for the Lord;
    be strong and take heart
    and wait for the Lord.
(Psalm 27:14 ~ NIV)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2016. All Rights Reserved.

In My Shoes

socksI walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Kind of warms the heart, doesn’t it?  No.  Perhaps that’s not the right way to put it.  I saw the little photo of a pair of shoes the other day and stopped to read the text.  Heartwarming isn’t the way I would describe my reaction.

Confused, maybe…

My first thought was that I was going to feel sympathy for the person who wrote the sentence.  But the gotcha phrase at the end made me laugh.  

Ha!  Just another touchy-feely sentimental moment turned into a joke.

I shared the picture with my friends, and went about my day.  But, something made me go back to the photo again.  And again.

Somehow, I wasn’t laughing anymore.  Sad.  That’s the way I began to feel inside.

The simple fact is, the event described is exactly the kind of thing that usually ruins my day.  Oh, I don’t necessarily mean that I’ve got bad socks, but I’m saying that minor inconveniences visible to no one but me are the catalysts for more bad moods than anyone will ever know.

Minor inconveniences.

They’re kind of a big thing.  For me, anyway.  Maybe for you, too.

All day long, the slightly too-small shirt I put on this morning keeps pulling out at the waist.  Each time I reach for something on my work bench, or stretch overhead to put in a light bulb, or bend over to pick up that penny I dropped while making change, the shirt tail, without any warning at all is hanging over my belt.

I hate that!

And, nobody cared.  In fact, none of you knew it was happening.  Not even the Lovely Lady.

I feel bad mentioning this at all.  Sort of. It pales beside other issues. 

One of my new author friends mentioned some serious personal life events in a note she wrote to me today.  Beyond serious, they have been catastrophic.  After that, it seems awfully silly for me to focus on the trivial and the mundane.

But, we live life as it happens.  The catastrophic events come.  For some, they last for many years—perhaps never to pass from our experience.  Dealing with and responding to them is paramount.

Still, the minuscule events come too, annoying and chipping away at our patience.  I wonder if they will also someday be a part of the record of how we responded and carried on in our walk here on this sphere of water and dirt.

The world keeps spinning.  We keep walking with the socks bunched up in our shoes.  Discomfort, inconveniences, and annoyances pile up.

You know I’m not really thinking about cheap socks now, right?

Who are we—really—when the trivial, the mundane, problems of life begin to wear on us?  How do we treat our fellow travelers?

When I have big problems—the kind everyone can see—it’s not all that hard to keep my footing, relationally speaking.  Folks treat me with deference, the kid glove treatment we’ve all heard of.  All the warning signs are obvious and even I can remember to exercise self-control in dealing with others.

But, what about when my shoe comes untied?

Walking along the trail, side by side with the Lovely Lady, I don’t even notice it for awhile.  Oh, I know something is not quite right, but it really doesn’t matter.  

I keep walking.  We keep talking.

Little by little, the brain becomes aware of the problem.  Finally, in a moment of epiphany, I realize my foot is sliding around in my shoe.

And just like that, I am angry.

shoes-166866_1280Well, who wouldn’t be?  The person by my side, the woman who stood beside me at an altar all those years ago and promised to love and help me, won’t slow down.  My shoe is untied and she keeps striding along like there is nothing wrong.

My shoe is untied!

“Slow down!”  I snap.

She looks at me in surprise.  Just a moment ago, we were enjoying our outing in the beauty of God’s creation.  Nothing has changed, to her mind.  There is no reason she would have seen my predicament.

My world, on the other hand, is turned upside down.  Of course, she instantly slows to a stop and waits while I kneel down and make the necessary adjustments. 

But the damage has been done.

I’ve spent a lot of words on feet, haven’t I?  Perhaps you already realize the feet aren’t the problem.  The heart is.

The heart.

We’re a self-centered lot, aren’t we?  Oh, we talk a good game, pretending to care more about others than ourselves, but let just one little personal issue flare up and no one matters in the world besides ourselves.  Nothing is more important in that moment than our comfort.

God is working on my heart problem.  I’m trying to let Him.  You see, the Apostle who loved letter-writing passed on the words God had for me long ago:

You can’t be looking at your own problems, but need to be focusing on what those around you need.  Think like He did, the God-man who gave up everything so you could have everything.

As He’s working on my heart problem, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind waiting up while I tie my shoe.

I’d like to walk beside you for awhile.

You can pull up your socks if you need to.

 

 

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle.
(Jane Austen ~ British novelist ~ 1775-1817)

 

 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.  Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you the interests of the others.
(Philippians 2: 3,4)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.