Learning From the Nuts (I Wonder if I Need New Teachers?)

October 20, 2023October 20, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

Life lessons come from the strangest of places. Things I think I should have learned from study and discussion must be discerned from the animals on the porch. And, their diets.

But, here I go again, cart before horse, expecting the reader to know what I’m talking about. Let me start again.

On a recent morning, I sat in my easy chair with a cup of coffee. As I often do, I stared (most likely, a blank stare; mornings are like that), looking at nothing and everything outside my window.

With a start, I became aware that a large rodent had jumped onto the ramp leading to my front door. A handsome little beast, she sat and flipped her tail a few times, as if to warn interlopers away. She was carrying something in her teeth. A big something.

Well, big for a squirrel. Protruding from her mouth were four pecans, all attached to each other, still encased in their protective covering. As I watched, the beautiful creature turned the cluster in her mouth, crunching down on the hull of a single nut and detaching the pecan inside, said pecan looking much like the ones we purchase in their shell at the grocery store. She then jumped onto the ground under the ramp, rapidly digging a hole with her little hand-shaped paws and dropping the pecan into it.

Food for the future. Their Creator made the little rodents intelligent enough to plan for the cold of winter when no fruit or nuts will be found except by foraging on the ground. And that’s a hard row to hoe, as the red-headed lady who raised me would have said.

Well, that’s not so unusual, one might think.

And, one would be right. Not unusual at all. Until they consider that there is no pecan tree in my yard.

The Lovely Lady and I went on an exploratory trek last week. I had seen evidence of the pecans in the yard and wondered where they were coming from. As we walked, we found a large pecan tree at the edge of a clearing about two blocks away from our home. Exploring further, we located another large one in the vacant lot behind our house, probably 200 feet from where my new friend was burying hers in hopes of a meal, come winter.

Her actions aren’t all that odd. Except, many experts say that gray squirrels usually don’t travel more than that distance away from their home in any one day to find food. They can travel several miles but don’t under normal circumstances. As evidenced by the many pecan hulls scattered around my yard, this one is making the trip multiple times a day right now.

Adding to my confusion, many of the pecan hulls I’ve found are at the base of a beautiful, healthy black walnut tree right outside my back door. Squirrels love black walnuts! And, the tree is covered—absolutely covered—in nuts this fall!

Besides that, only ten or fifteen feet away from the black walnut tree is a chestnut tree. I’ll admit, I don’t understand how the squirrels can stand to chew through the spiny hull of the chestnut, but always in recent years, I’ve found myriad pieces of the outer coverings from the prickly nuts in my yard.

And, while the little gray creature sat on her haunches and chewed through the hulls, I chewed mentally on the question that formed in my mind.

She has walnuts and chestnuts, along with acorns from the pin oak in the front yard, aplenty. Why would she brave the space between my yard and the big pecan tree? Every step away from her home is fraught with fear and very real dangers.

It didn’t take long. As Mr. Tolkien would say, even I can see through a brick wall in time.

The light above my head flickered to life.

She likes pecans better than any of the other, more easily acquired, options! She loves them enough that she’ll bypass the easy pickings of the huge oak, to say nothing of the black walnuts that have already fallen, with many more awaiting the next strong wind to liberate them from the limbs high above the ground where they hang expectantly.

She will travel the equivalent of miles for a human to reach the food she loves.

It’s easy to see where this is heading, isn’t it?

A friend told us the other day he had it on good authority that there are 68 places along the highway going through our little town where we humans may stop and get a meal. Sixty-eight! I’m not sure I can come up with that many. But, I know it is a sizable number.

Still, every day, hundreds of residents from this town head for other municipalities, sometimes as far as eighty miles away, to do nothing more than eat food.

We want what we want. And, we’ll subject ourselves to danger, expense, and inconvenience to get it when we want it.

I do it too, occasionally.

I almost hesitate to keep going down this road I’ve begun to traverse. Someone will say I’ve begun to meddle. Perhaps I have.

Why, when we’re so finicky about the food we put in our mouths and bellies, are we so lax about the garbage we put into our minds and hearts?

Daily, we sit and peruse social sites, news outlets, and entertainment sources, allowing the gossip, the lies, and the filth to permeate our very souls. Easy pickings, the red-headed lady who…well, you get the idea.

No effort required. Right there at our fingertips. A touch on the screen and we devour whatever comes to our eyes. And ears.

We—the very same connoisseurs—who eschew the everyday fare in our local cafes and restaurants, will shovel in this garbage in ever-increasing quantities. Without more than a perfunctory thought to truth and morality—and yes—to purity, we swallow what the world around us offers.

Yes. I know. Meddling.

I’m climbing down off of the soapbox now. Carefully, so I don’t break anything.

I have just this one parting thought.

My admiration of the beautiful squirrel aside, it’s time to begin choosing carefully.

There are better things.

Better.

Jeremiah could tell you. No, not the bullfrog. The prophet who cried also knew what was good for him.

And, for us.

When I discovered your words, I devoured them.
They are my joy and my heart’s delight,
for I bear your name,
O Lord God of Heaven’s Armies.
(Jeremiah 15:16, NLT)

Time for a change in diet.

I bet it’ll be worth the journey.

Oh! I’m with the squirrel, too. Pecans are better than black walnuts. Any day.

Thy word have I hid in my heart
That I might not sin against Thee.
(Psalm 119:11, KJV)

You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.
(Ronald Reagan)

Gravitas

October 16, 2023October 16, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

She said she wanted to drink coffee with me. We set up a time one recent afternoon, and I drank coffee. She drank water—said something about not having caffeine this late in the day.

“Lightweight.” I tossed the word out lightly, as a joke. We both laughed.

I think it was the last light thing we talked about that afternoon. I’m not going to give away any tasty morsels of the deep things we discussed; not going to disclose any private details of confidences shared.

It was a weighty discussion. Oh, it wouldn’t rank up there with international peace talks or a theological debate about Calvinism vs. Arminianism, but it was pretty heavy.

Come to think of it, we did discuss Calvinism. Momentarily. We know better than to waste time arguing.

Gravitas.

I keep coming back to that word as I consider the time we spent there, her with her water bottle and me with my coffee cup. It’s what our words had; what the entire visit had. At least, in my thoughts, it did.

Usually, the obscure words I use here are inserted purposefully. My primary editor, the Lovely Lady, complains (facetiously) that she is often forced to use a dictionary. I’m always secretly happy to hear that. Today, I think it’s important enough for the meaning to be clear.

Gravitas means to have weight, to be taken seriously.

I first heard the word used about a seasoned politician who was added to an election slate so the primary candidate would be taken more seriously. The commentators opined that he added gravitas to the campaign.

That afternoon, we shared our life stories. Oh, not the whole story, but some important parts. I cried. She cried.

Life is hard. Sometimes, it’s ugly. For some, the ugly goes on and on. But, in almost every story, there is beauty and joy intertwined with the ugly.

I said I wasn’t going to tell secrets, and I’m not. But, I do want to mention one of my memories that was shaken loose in the heavy conversation that afternoon.

I was raised in a believing household. I grew up in the church, believing in Jesus at an early age. I never walked away from that decision.

That doesn’t mean I walked the straight and narrow path laid out by the beliefs of my fellowship. Not by a long shot.

Believing and following are two different things.

At age nineteen, as I prepared to leave home for a new place, many miles away, I was determined that there I would live the life I wanted. Away from the straight-laced and narrow expectations of my parents and that fellowship, I would follow the path I chose.

I knew they only wanted what was best for me. I did. It didn’t matter. I wanted what was fun. And, maybe even a little wild.

On my last Sunday at home, I was surprised when the pastor of the church called me to the front. As he explained that I was leaving home and the fellowship I had known since infancy, I noticed the Elders making their way to the platform, circling around behind me.

These were men who knew me when I was a baby in my mother’s arms. They knew how unkind I could be, how argumentative, how rebellious. I couldn’t imagine what they intended as they surrounded me that day.

They prayed for me! Putting their hands on my back and shoulders, one after another, they gave me into God’s care and protection, saying kind things about me as they did it.

I can still feel their hands on my shoulders today. Seriously. The weight of those loving hands, the knowledge of their care and prayers, have followed me through the nearly five decades since.

Gravitas.

I don’t remember those men ever doing that for another teenager walking away from home for the final time. I still wonder why they did it for me.

God knows.

He does.

And for some odd reason, instead of running wild as I had planned, within a couple of weeks of my move over eight hundred miles away, I was looking for a new fellowship of believers, finding the spiritual home I needed. There, I met the Lovely Lady. I raised my children. I have served and been served.

Someone in that group of men knew I needed that experience at that exact time in my life—knew I needed to hear those words. On that day, I needed to hear them.

This is important. It has gravitas—weight.

The wise man said the words centuries ago:

Like apples of gold in settings of silver,
Is a word spoken at the proper time.
(Proverbs 25:11, NASB)

We get so tied up in the pretty stuff, the shiny things, of the first half of the verse, that we often miss the importance of the second.

We need to be ready to speak the words—words of encouragement, of correction, even prayers—when the people around us need them.

Apologies need to come to our lips readily—right when we see our fault. Relationships depend on them.

Compliments should be there in the moment they are earned. Not flattery, designed to earn us something. Compliments, building up, encouraging good things for others.

Reminders of who we are as children of a loving God should be on our tongues in the instant they are brought to mind.

Beauty and worth will be the result. Yes. Maybe even golden apples in settings of silver.

It may still take a year or two to see the beauty. And the value.

They may remember it for a lifetime.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
(Mother Teresa)

Preach the message; be ready whether it is convenient or not; reprove, rebuke, exhort with complete patience and instruction.
(2 Timothy 4:2, NET)

None knows the weight of another’s burden.
(George Herbert)

Who’s Stealing What?

October 12, 2023October 14, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes we don’t see what is right in front of our eyes.

Today started like that. Almost.

Early this morning, I walked away from my front door and headed to the coffee shop. I walked against a brisk wind, it having changed in the last day or two, promising to blow in a cold front soon and perhaps even to blow a few of the leaves from the trees.

Winter will soon be here. But, that isn’t what I came here to talk about, is it?

Today, I’m thinking about time—about eternity. And, I may actually write about those things before I finish this. I may.

I walked the half mile to the coffee shop at a brisk pace, acting as if I were the only human on an errand this morning. It’s easy to think so.

I nearly didn’t see them. The people, I mean. I’m not saying I wouldn’t have known they were there. I simply mean, I almost didn’t see them. Really see them.

People walk past me every day. Even here, in the South, where we wave at complete strangers and holler our loud greetings across the yard to our neighbors, it’s becoming more difficult to get a response from folks.

Perhaps, they are on a mission, as am I. Somehow, deep in thought, they don’t want to encourage interaction, hoping to keep the train (of thought) a non-stop ride all the way to the terminal.

Still, I usually interrupt them anyway, with a quick Good morning or Hey! How’s it going? coming to my lips as I pass.

At the end of my little cul-de-sac, the young lady headed for classes at the university seemed to accelerate to a speedwalk as she saw my trajectory would take me onto the sidewalk just as she began to cross the intersection. She said nothing in reply to my words of greeting. I wasn’t surprised. I fit the description of a strange man to a tee, and she was well advised to avoid any interaction.

Up the street under the hickory trees, the young man walking his dog replied in a friendly manner, his eastern accent—possibly Indian, or Pakistani— reminding me that our little town has become a melting pot (not to its detriment at all).

The middle-aged jogger, arms pumping and graying ponytail dodging left and right behind her as she ran, didn’t even pause in her pursuit of youth to return my greeting. Perhaps, there was no extra breath to waste, as she chased her goal.

The last person I saw before I reached my destination was an older lady, her hoodie zipped up and pulled over her head against the cool autumn morning air. She shoved a bulky metal walker ahead of her on the sidewalk, her progress slow and not all that steady. As I called out a cheerful greeting, a smile appeared crookedly on her face.

She called out her own chipper greeting in reply to mine, the words slightly slurred. I recognized the impairments left behind by a stroke and felt sympathy for the lady. But, more than that, I was impressed by her determination to overcome the damage caused by the malady.

Like the nineteenth-century philosopher, Henry David Thoreau, I have at times declared—at least internally—that “most men lead lives of quiet desperation,” but I learn repeatedly that most folks actually lead full, rich lives, facing their challenges and loving the people God has given them to share life with.

Mr. Thoreau is also the fellow who made the following statement:

“As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.”

Did I say I wanted to talk about time today?

I saw these folks along my route, people from different places, lifestyles, and eras. They all are investing in the present. Of course, by the time this is ready to be read, their activities will be in the past, but I observed them in the moment they occurred.

Young to old, they were making investments in their future.

A friend of mine, a wonderful lady whom I admire, made a comment earlier this week that started me thinking about time.

“Time is a thief.”

Her children are reaching the end of their years at home, ready to fly the protective nest, and she is a little melancholy about it. I haven’t talked with her about her feelings, except to ask how her offspring are doing in their various pursuits. She is proud of what they’re accomplishing—overjoyed they are doing what she raised them to do. They are becoming the caring, honest human beings she and her husband have invested their lives to encourage.

And yet, she says time steals. I won’t argue with her.

I won’t. But somehow, I think we may be the thieves. I’m not sure we actually kill time as Thoreau suggests, but we can certainly be wasteful, squandering opportunity after opportunity as we egress from eternity past into eternity future.

Time itself may seem to take people and things from us, but it only seems so. And, it leaves behind wonderful gifts.

Knowledge. Wisdom, Memories.

Ultimately, it offers perhaps the most valuable of all gifts as we journey through its domain; the gift of opportunity.

Tomorrow. Next week. Next year.

All opportunities. Bright. Untouched.

Waiting for you. And me.

If, like me, you believe in the love and guidance of a Creator who saw us before He spoke the worlds into existence, you will know that time was part of the original blueprint. A gift to all of creation.

And, every moment, known to Him already.

The Psalmist put it this way: My times are in Your hand. (Psalm 31:15a, NKJV)

If you’re still breathing, time is on your side. It is.

Seize the day. Do it gently.

We wouldn’t want to injure it, would we?

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is a gift.
(Eleanor Roosevelt)

Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.
(Ephesians 5:17, NLT)

Still Dancing (Sneaking Onto the Floor)

October 9, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

We went to a wedding last week, the Lovely Lady and I. Mostly, I went along to be her driver, but she claimed she needed to have a companion to sit with through the ceremony. I’m not sure that was true but, putting on my too-small suit, I went anyway.

I’m glad I did. I always am, somehow.

Her cousin’s daughter was getting married. I suppose that means the bride would be her first cousin once removed, but I’m not so sure about my relationship. Am I intended to call the young lady’s new husband my first cousin once removed in-law in-law?

The music was lovely, simply because the Lovely Lady was involved, along with her brother. Then the wedding itself was wonderful, probably because the bride (my first cousin once removed in-law) and her groom (now, my first cousin once removed in-law in-law) enjoyed the process much more than most couples do. There was laughter and there were tears, mixed in with promises and rings, and then more laughter. All in all, a wonderful ceremony with God at the center, and the two kids got hitched.

We stayed for dinner, visiting with the Lovely Lady’s cousins—my cousins-in-law (perhaps we should stop beating that poor defunct equine for the time being). It took a while to visit with all of them, there having been nine children in the family. Lovely folks, every one of them.

Soon, it was time for dancing. I should mention that I don’t dance, my problem being (besides my rather strict upbringing) not my two left feet, but the propensity for my body to want to descend to the level of my feet when they inevitably get tangled in each other.

Soon, the band leader was calling for all the married couples in the room to get out on the dance floor. Some did, but most of the cousins stayed where they were. Some, I think were like me, knowing that staying put was the best path to avoiding embarrassment. Others were just happy to watch the younger ones enjoy the music.

As the dance went through a verse or two, the band leader had the folks who had been married for a year or less sit down. Then, he called for those having been married five years or less to drop out. Ten years was the next cut-off, then twenty, and so on.

We laughed, the Lovely Lady and I, as new dancers snuck onto the dance floor. A few couples had noticed the trend and wanted to see if they could be the last ones left.

Sure enough, one of her cousins and her husband were the last couple on the floor, at nearly fifty years of marriage. We laughed and clapped, and went back to our visiting—reliving old memories and reveling in the company of family and friends.

I commented that it wasn’t fair for the band leader to expect the old people to be the ones who stayed on the dance floor longer than all the young folks. Doesn’t he know the old geezers don’t have the stamina to outlast all those kids?

But, other thoughts came to mind as I laughed at my own wittiness. It took a little while because the thoughts were a little fuzzy. Most of my thoughts these days begin like that—almost like trying to remember a name that’s just beyond my grasp. It’ll come eventually, but sometimes I just have to quit trying for it to break through to the surface.

I knew it had something to do with waiting. And gaining strength. Somehow, the couple who had taken their time to get onto the dance floor—waiting—were tied up in the concept.

Last night, as I sat in my easy chair, I heard an old song in my head. So familiar, from many years ago.

Now, where did that come from? What were the words?

Ah, yes!

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.
They shall mount up with wings.
They shall mount up with wings as eagles.

I had it! Finally, I had it.

Old folks, waiting for God.

And no, I don’t mean like the British folk tend to describe their old people in nursing homes—God’s Waiting Room, they call it.

I mean old saints, faithful folks, who know from whence their strength comes. It’s not from vitamins; not from doctor’s prescriptions; not even from physical therapists manipulating muscles and bones.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:31, NLT)

I’ve mentioned my repetitive dreams of flying before, soaring with arms spread, through the air. I still haven’t done that in real life. There have been times I’ve wondered, though…

Early this morning, I dreamed again. I suppose it was the direction this essay has taken that inspired the dream.

This time, I wasn’t flying. But, I had been invited to participate with the local university’s track team. Cross country. Miles and miles. Some of the others, the kids, tired as we ran, dropping out to walk and sit by the side of the trail.

In my dream, I kept running. Me! Closer to seventy than to any other decade. I kept running.

Okay. It’s not flying. But, running is good.

Almost as good as dancing.

Alas. Dreams come to an end. Morning comes; the sleeper awakes. I walked (painfully, due to a slight back issue I’m experiencing) to the little coffee shop I’m haunting these days. And, here I sit, pecking at the laptop’s keyboard, remembering.

Nothing’s changed, physically.

But, I’m waiting. Trusting.

God won’t fail us. He won’t.

I hope to dance someday.

Fly. Run. Walk.

No pain. No fatigue. No dropping out.

He gives strength for today.

And, bright hope for tomorrow.

And, hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon.
(from The Owl And The Pussycat, by Edward Lear)

My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever.
(Psalm 73:26, NLT)

Keepers Kept

October 5, 2023October 5, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

“She’s a keeper, Paul!”

My sister-in-law had just met the Lovely Young Lady for the first time. She wasn’t wrong. I’ve done my best to hold onto her for the last forty-five years.

A keeper.

“That’s a keeper, Paul!”

The neighbor boy, Warren, yelled the phrase down the banks of the drainage ditch. I had just landed a large perch with my old cane pole, my bait being one of the long, wriggly earthworms we had dug up just moments before. We kept the perch, along with a few more that day.

“You kids need a keeper!”

The words of disgust came from the lips of an aging passerby in the shopping mall. They were aimed at the group of rowdy band kids who hooted, and whistled, and wrestled, oblivious to the constant parade of grown-ups around them.

We probably did. Need a keeper, that is.

All of the above events came to mind during my sleepless hours last night. My brain has been wrestling, trying to come to grips with the immense meaning of a tiny word.

Keep.

Our use of the word is almost exclusively understood to mean retain possession of. It means that. It does.

But, it means that and so much more. The original meaning of the word implies (besides possessing) holding tightly, guarding closely, and even fighting for.

Castles in medieval times had a keep, a fortified castle within the castle, intended as a last defense, a place of ultimate shelter where enemies could not break through. It was a place of protection for the defenseless, of strength for the weak, of safety for all that was valued.

The passages in the Bible that speak of God keeping and blessing mean well more than simply being His; they imply being held and guarded against all dangers, dwelling in His fortress—His castle keep.

A strange subject to mull over in the small hours of the morning, you think?

I don’t disagree.

The fodder for my thoughts had only been introduced moments before I finally succumbed to the tyranny of the clock, well after midnight. I laid myself on the bed knowing I would not sleep because of the turmoil inside my brain.

Often, the late night hours are a time when I chase my ancestors into the past—perusing old books, searching online databases, and thumbing through materials in my keeping from family members who are gone but not forgotten. Last night, I found something that grabbed my attention.

I’ve flipped through the pages of the old Bible before. It was my great-grandfather’s, given to him by his mother in his 18th year. The date on the flyleaf is January 1, 1881.

I’ve never found anything of value to my search in its pages before, besides the mourning ribbon for President Garfield upon his assassination nine months after my forebear received the Bible. I think I may have even seen this little yellow ribbon previously and gone past, dismissing its message in my search for facts.

The ribbon in the pages of the little Bible says simply, “Keepers.” I cannot find any context for it in my searches for who my great-grandfather was.

And yet, there is context to be found.

It’s easy to believe, at times, that we are worthless—merely sinners living in a fallen world. We who follow Christ know that we are redeemed, but often we are discouraged, believing that things will never change—that we will never change.

The reality—a reality reinforced again and again in the old Book—is that we are keepers.

Worth being held.

Worth being protected.

Worth being valued.

Keepers. Kept by a Keeper. Who will do all those things. And more.

That ribbon has clearly lodged at the same place for many, many years. You can see where the color has leached into the paper on either side of it.

Last night, I read the passage where it sits. I think I needed to be reminded.

For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God. As the Scriptures say,
“People are like grass;
their beauty is like a flower in the field.
The grass withers and the flower fades.
But the word of the Lord remains forever.”
(1 Peter 1: 23-25, NLT)

I’m keeping the Bible. And the ribbon.

I’m still looking for clues to who my ancestors were. But, I know who I am. It’s who you are, too.

Keepers.

With a Keeper.

Living here in His keep.

Protected. And, blessed.

The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
(Numbers 6:24-26, NKJV)

The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. (Maya Angelou)

Missed Opportunities

October 3, 2023October 3, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

It happens every morning. I’m sure it does; I just don’t see it often.

Missed opportunities. They used to haunt me. Really. I’d try to get to every music concert, every church meeting, every coffee get-together—you name it; if it was happening and I could be present, I was there.

Driven by guilt. And maybe a little bit of obsession.

Perhaps, I should finish the first thought before I get on my little soapbox, huh? I’ll do that.

The shadow stood at my bedside in the dark room this morning. 7:05, the clock read. 7:05!

The shadow spoke.

“The sunrise is spectacular this morning!”

Other than a quick hug and a mumbled “goodbye, I love you,” that was it. I was alone on the queen-size bed in the darkness. Back to sleep. Life goes on as usual.

That’s not what happened. I rolled over, hugging her pillow close. But, I didn’t go back to sleep.

Sunrise! It happens every morning; so what’s the big deal? Sleep is better—especially when my head didn’t hit the pillow until 2:30 this morning.

The thoughts ran through my non-sleeping brain.

I got up.

A few minutes later, I was standing at the upstairs window, looking out over the rooftops in the neighborhood.

Wow! This happens every day?

Every day?

“Awake, O sleeper,
rise up from the dead,
and Christ will give you light.”

I snapped a photo or two to save the moment in my memory. I sent one of them to the Lovely Lady. Some things need to be shared.

She sent me back a photo of the gecko under her desk this morning. I guess she felt that some things need to be shared, too.

But, I’m wondering about the bigger picture now. What about all the other things I’m missing out on? While I’m sleeping. And when I’m awake, too.

I remember when my oldest grandson was an infant and he refused to go to sleep in his crib. My son-in-law introduced me to the term we’ve all become familiar with as he described the phenomenon.

“FOMO. He’s afraid we’re going to do something while he’s asleep and he can’t stand to not be part of it.”

Fear of missing out.

We laughed. We still do.

But, it’s true. We want to be included in whatever’s happening. And sometimes, we feel guilty when we don’t participate in all of it.

Why are we so driven by that guilt?

I want to blame my church upbringing, citing those verses in Ephesians I heard so often growing up.

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.
(Ephesians 5:15-17, NLT)

I want to blame my guilt on that. But, words are just words until we understand them. The Word of God is the same. His Spirit gives clarity as we study them and then live them out.

Yes, we make the most of every opportunity. But we don’t act thoughtlessly.

Trying to be involved in every good activity is acting thoughtlessly. And, being consumed by guilt when we don’t show up for all of them is harmful. To us and others around us.

I’m going to miss out on a few sunrises. And, concerts. And, coffee breaks.

But occasionally, I’m going to stumble out of bed, climbing the wooden stairs in my bare feet to stand at the window in awe and gratitude for another day and a beautiful re-creation of the dawn.

Just, maybe not tomorrow morning.

Morning has broken
like the first morning,
blackbird has spoken
like the first bird.
Praise for the singing!
Praise for the morning!
Praise for them, springing
fresh from the Word!
(From Morning Has Broken by Eleanor Farjeon, 1931)

I’m Not That! Whatever He Said, I’m Not!

October 1, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

The mind is a funny thing.

One minute you’re sitting calmly, living in the present, enjoying God’s blessings, and the next, you’re thirty years in the past. Not only remembering conversations, but feeling the same emotions you felt in the moment—all those years ago!

Many of my friends know that, with the help of my kids and grandkids, we built an outside deck in the last few months. It’s a lovely space, leaving scope for the imagination, as Anne Shirley would have said. (You folks who read about Anne with an “e” as a child will remember.)

We built the deck from reclaimed lumber, having torn down a much larger deck at a neighbor’s house (at her request, of course!) and salvaged the still-usable boards.

The labor was free. Well, except for a few meals, prepared by the Lovely Lady and eaten around our old dining table, it was free. And, now that I consider, even those worked out to my advantage. What a joy, to achieve a shared goal with one’s extended family!

It is, as I mentioned, a lovely space.

A sister-in-law gave us wicker furniture which she no longer used. Our sweet neighbor snuck in a couple of pillows while we were at church one morning. Our generous-hearted son and his lovely wife even donated a beautiful fire pit, which we’ve enjoyed together several times.

I’ve spent many hours there lately, my mind and heart full, considering our Father’s blessings as I look out to the old barn behind us, past the overgrown fence, with its honeysuckle and poison-ivy vines intertwined.

And yes, just like the intermingling of beauty and danger those vines remind me of, my mind has often gone to the darker places as I’ve meditated on the bright, lovely ones.

Such was the case when, on this day, the whole process came to a screeching halt as the words of the old man came to my mind.

We were leaning against the bed of his old beat-up truck in the parking lot in front of my music store. I had just pointed out my latest purchase, a twelve-year-old Chevy conversion van. It was the perfect vehicle for my growing family. The paint was a little faded and it had lots of miles on the odometer, but I was so proud of it.

I might have laid it on a little thick. The shag carpet could have gone to my head. Or, was it the dark maroon crushed-velvet upholstery that was to blame?

I really don’t remember, but it could have sounded a little boastful. A little.

Soon, he had heard enough.

“You’re nothing but a plutocrat, Paul!” The old man was blunt and opinionated, yet I was surprised. I never expected to be the target of his sarcasm.

And truthfully, I didn’t know exactly what a plutocrat was, but I knew it wasn’t a compliment. Besides, I was sure I wasn’t that!

Whatever it was, I wasn’t that!

I told him so, lamely. He laughed and drove out of the parking lot. I was offended.

I know what a plutocrat is now. Funny thing; I’m still offended.

A plutocrat is a person whose power is derived from their wealth. The title is most often used to describe politicians, people who achieve status and authority because they are rich.

I’m not.

Rich. Or powerful.

How is it that those words, spoken in jest, reach out over the decades to rile me up again?

Perhaps, there was a grain of truth in the accusation. We were standing next to his old beater of a pickup truck, while I extolled the advantages of my plush, customized van.

I may have been proud of my purchase. He may have taken it as an indirect slight. A putdown, even.

Those of us who are not politicians have a different type of power. Don’t tell me we don’t.

We use our advantages, however slight, to pull ahead of our peers. We look down on them from our privileged position, all the while knowing that the next wind that blows may leave them in that elevated place and us standing beside the beater.

How easy it is to forget, as we sit on our lovely deck looking down on the passersby, that nothing we have is ours to keep. Nothing.

Job knew it. He, having lost all he had amassed over a lifetime, told his friends that he had come into this world naked and that he would depart into eternity in the same condition.

It’s not mine!

This deck is not mine. The house beside the deck is not mine. The clothes I wear are not mine. The property, the cars, the art, the musical instruments? Not mine.

None of it.

How could I ever achieve any real power using borrowed wealth?

Pride is a falsehood. It will ultimately lead to desolation.

The Preacher knew it—he who was considered the wisest of the wise.

“Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher. “Completely meaningless.” (Proverbs 1:2, NLT)

We work for more than wealth or power. We must!

As it turns out, I have been a plutocrat. Just not in the way the world around us understands it. They’ve never recognized any power, nor any wealth in my hands.

Not much of what is really important will ever make sense to anyone else. And that’s how it goes on this walk we’re taking with our Savior and each other.

We’re not the blind following the blind. But, only because of His gift of sight.

I don’t always get it right. Sometimes, I’m confused by what I’m supposed to do and why I don’t do that.

And still, He gives grace for the journey. No matter how many times I have to be reminded.

You, too?

Maybe you could come by and sit on the deck sometime to talk about it with me.

It’s not mine anyway. And, that’s okay with me.

We could even roast a marshmallow or two over the firepit and share some s’mores.

Now—does that sound like something a plutocrat would do?

It ain’t the heat; It’s the humility.
(Yogi Berra)

Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. (Proverbs 18:12, NIV)

Still Not Afraid

August 2, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

The Lovely Lady and I made a trek to Lowe’s today, in hopes of buying some sixteen-penny nails for our current project (the associate in the hardware aisle didn’t know what those were—seriously!)

I was disappointed and a little frightened by the Halloween display (yes, you read that right!) inside the front doors. Really. Halloween. Another thief trying to steal my summer.

But, being frightened is nothing new to you this summer, is it?

The news media has done its best to convince you that you must be frightened that cool weather will never return, and the world is falling apart politically, along with the certainty that financial disaster is right around the corner.

I watched a 4-minute video last night in which a young lady did her best to excoriate all you fools ignorant enough to not be terrified that the world is melting. Melting.

And, the drug cartels—no, no—the pharmaceutical companies, are spending millions to convince you that every disease imaginable is hiding under your bed, so you must ask your doctor to prescribe their latest chemical concoction if you want to have any chance to live out the year.

I have a suggestion.

Put that iPhone in your pocket, turn off the idiot box, and go outside.

Yes, it’s hot. So, take some water with you. Carry a towel to wipe the sweat out of your eyes (or, if you’ve still got a stretchy terry headband from the 1970s, you can wear that).

The grass is green. The trees are covered with leaves (read: shade in which to rest). For the most part, water is flowing down the creeks and rivers.

Remember when you were a kid? Nobody could have forced you inside on hot summer days. Now, voices from an electronic box have you convinced you’re done.

You’re not.

Not by a long shot.

I’m not trying to tell you what to believe. This is not a political statement—pro this—anti that.

I’m merely suggesting that we take back our lives. Live each day as if it’s a gift from our Creator.

Because it is. An amazing gift.

Fear is a thief. Don’t let it steal another minute of your life.

Oh, just so you know… The sweat washes off. Really, it does. And, the A/C feels a lot cooler after an hour or two under the summer sun.

To every thing there is a season. And, seasons pass.

They pass.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NIV)

God Stoops Low

April 7, 2023April 7, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

I went to Church tonight. And I cried.

I knew I would.

I told my friend, the one who rang my doorbell five minutes before I was due to leave, that I probably would. She (not purposely) had reminded me of the man who once was her husband. The memory brought sadness; sadness for separations here on earth and sadness for the separation of death. The loss is temporary, yes, but still painful.

The man to whom she had once been married often cried at church, too. I admire other men who are tender-hearted and not afraid to show it, but I’ve never thought it one of my best attributes. It’s funny how that works.

Still, there it is. I cried.

Singing with my friends, I cried. And, as we took the bread and the wine of communion, the tears flowed freely.

I admit it. My mind wandered as the Pastor shared about our Servant Savior who showed the attributes of God in His suffering. I couldn’t help it.

We have several Spanish-speaking folks in our number, so the main points of the sermon are noted on the overhead monitor both in English and in Spanish.

It was only one letter. A very common one. The letter “s” had been omitted from one of the Spanish words. But, try as I might, I could think of nothing else.

In Spanish, as in English, the word “no” means just that. No. Negative. Not at all.

So, in the context of this particular written sentence, it told anyone reading the Spanish text that Jesus did not show God’s wisdom as He served. That couldn’t be what it meant. Could it?

For several minutes, I heard nothing the Pastor said until, in a split second, the slide on the monitor was changed, adding the “s”.

Oh! Of course! The word was “nos“. In that instant, the meaning became clear. Nos means us! It wasn’t that He didn’t show wisdom—not at all. It was that He showed it to all of us.

All of us.

Tears came once more.

The Pastor said the familiar words again tonight. “On the same night that Jesus was betrayed, He took bread…”

My mind, still wandering a bit, reminds me that also on that same night, before He took the bread, He told His disciples, “Take off your shoes. You are on holy ground.”

Well, perhaps the words weren’t the same as those that Moses heard in the wilderness eons before, but it was true just the same. Not one of the disciples had their shoes on when He finished washing their feet Himself.

And they were, undoubtedly, on holy ground.

I’ve written of this holy ground before but, as my mind wandered further afield during the service tonight, I saw the truth of it anew.

In the presence of our Servant Savior, we are ever on holy ground. For where ever God stoops to serve and save, there it is sacred.

In the garbage dumps of Guatemala, in the halls of political power.

In the tiled mansions of the Upper East Side of New York, in the stinking, fetid shacks of the refugee camps across the Rio Grande.

In the quietness of the forest clearings, in the riotous racket of the championship soccer match.

Wherever God stoops, we stand on holy ground.

And He stoops where we are. All of us.

The word is not “no”.

The word is “us”.

On holy ground, He stoops to all of us.

And, He washes us clean.

And, behold, there came a leper and worshipped him, saying, Lord, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean. And Jesus put forth his hand, and touched him, saying, I will; be thou clean. And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.
(Matthew 8: 2-3, KJV)

A subtle thought that is in error may yet give rise to fruitful inquiry that can establish truths of great value. (Isaac Asimov)

The Old Barn in Spring

March 26, 2023 ~ Paul Phillips ~ Leave a comment

My father told of walking in the early 1950s across the yard beside what is now my home to reach Dr. Wills’ barn and pick up a gallon of fresh milk from his Jersey cows. As he told me the story, I could almost see him and his brother, my Uncle Edward, striding across this very field and then my yard.

I stood in the field this afternoon, soaking in the spring warmth and letting the memories wash over me.

I never knew, until the last years of his life, that Dad had ever been to this little town before my brothers and I settled here after leaving South Texas in the seventies.

I think I understand, a little, why it felt so much like coming home when I first visited here. It has never felt different in the nearly half-century since.

But, I wonder sometimes if that’s a little how it will feel to walk into our forever home.

I think it might.

Home. Where we belong.

I hope it’ll be springtime. With two brothers carrying bottles of fresh milk home for breakfast.

And wildflowers everywhere.

He's Taken Leave

Random wanderings with Paul Phillips

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