Perspective

The blind man stands at the counter in front of me and asks his questions.

I wonder, really, how much he sees.  As I speak, his eyes seem to be fixed on me, and he hangs on to every word I say.  When I smile, he responds with a smile of his own.  I suppose it’s probably a response to the inflection of my voice, but still, I have an unreasonable suspicion he is seeing me in his own way.

Later, he will sit down for a while and play a classical guitar in my store.  I will be amazed by his technical ability and sensitivity to the music.  Most folks who see the world more clearly will never be able to reach the level of his musicality.  I include myself in that group.

But for now, I’m struggling to answer his questions.

“Is that stack switch an on-off arrangement?  Can I use it as a kill-switch for an instant off?”

“How do you wire a guitar for stereo output?”

As I give him the benefit of my meager store of information, I realize he is not asking simply to tuck away the knowledge in his head.  He has a project in mind which he is going to attempt for himself.  He is going to build a guitar.

Without the advantage of sight.  He will build a guitar.

He is blind, but he has a vision. A vision he sees clearly.

After he leaves, I sit and reflect.  This man, with no light by which to see, is going to take individual parts and assemble them to produce a complete instrument.  He will then play music on that instrument–still in the dark.

I have assembled a guitar before.  The lights were on, with extra lights focused on the small parts I needed to attach to the instrument.  I even used a magnifier to see those parts with more clarity when necessary.  With my eyes wide open, I struggled with the project from start to finish.

He will do it in the dark.  Feeling his way.

I don’t write about my blind friend to belittle sighted readers, nor even to diminish my own deeds.  I simply mean to encourage us to reach further.  We all have challenges to overcome.

Your challenges aren’t the same as mine.  Mine aren’t the same as his.  Sometimes, even emotional challenges can loom large and cut off the light in much the same way that physical blindness does. 

The darkness in our spirits can often be as profound as the physical lack of sight.  We struggle simply to put one foot in front of the other.

Ultimately, in this physical world, we all–every single one of us–must live, and love, and achieve, guided by the light given us.  Whether the blaze of a noonday sun, or the flicker of a candle from afar, we walk in that light.

The same applies to our spiritual walk, with one incredible difference.  Here we can only walk in His light.  His light has no sign of darkness, nor loss of vision, at all.  As we walk in the light, His light, we walk in tandem with other travelers, who also count on Him for strength and salvation.

musicfortheblindSick though we may be, stricken with blindness, or crushing sorrow, all of us have the same advantages, the same Source from which to draw both strength and light for the journey.

I like the idea of having fellow travelers with whom to walk, sharing our visions with each other, and helping others over the rough spots.  Your strengths are not mine, nor my weaknesses yours, but together we can work to reach the goal.

The blind man has vision.

I’m just beginning to see the light.

 

 

 

“Death is no more than passing from one room into another.  But there’s a difference for me you know.  Because in that other room, I shall be able to see.”
(Helen Keller ~ blind American author/lecturer ~ 1880-1968 )

 

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.”
(Isaiah 9:2 ~ NIV)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Things

“It’s a beautiful guitar, Paul”

The words sounded a bit wistful, as if the young man was a little sad.  Perhaps, he knew that he would never own an instrument of that caliber.  Then again, maybe he just wanted to play the one hanging on the wall before him for a few minutes.

Not knowing which it was, I grabbed the bull by the horns and suggested that he play it for a while.

His reaction was confusing.  First, he smiled–a great big grin that told me I had hit the nail on the head with my suggestion.  He just wanted to play this vintage guitar.  A moment later, his mind kicked into gear and he immediately backtracked, his demeanor changing radically.

The big grin was replaced by a quizzical look mixed with disappointment.  He knew I was making fun of him.

After all, he was just a kid off the street.  He had wandered in from who knows where.  His clothes and lack of hygiene told me he hadn’t slept in a bed last night.  They also told me that there would be no money forthcoming, should an accident occur and the instrument be damaged.

All he said was, “Why would you let me play your expensive guitar?”

I understood the implication of his question and the emphasis he put on the word me as he asked it.  Here was a young man who was used to having folks be rude to him.  This was a kid who knew what it was like to be kicked out of businesses and public buildings just because it was clear he was there to soak up the heat, or in warmer months, the air conditioning. 

He was a nobody.  And, he knew it.

I said nothing more, but just took the old guitar off the hook on the wall and placed it in his hands.  I didn’t even warn him to be careful with it, although every fiber in me screamed out the words silently.

The guitar is irreplaceable to me.  Most of my customers know the story by now of my father-in-law selling that exact guitar in his first year of business, now almost fifty years ago.  I’ve related the story of its repurchase and subsequent gift of an incredible sum of money from my customers to ensure that it had a permanent home in my music store.

It is an article of much more value than its actual worth in the marketplace.

I watched the young man’s eyes as he gazed at the instrument in his hands.  He looked back up at me and I gestured with my head toward the amplifiers near the front of the store.

“Plug it in,” was all I said.

Still with a quizzical, almost confused look on his face, he carried the cherry-colored beauty as if it were made of the finest crystal around the corner and out of my sight.  I sat back down at my computer and went back to my work. 

The beautiful tones of that fine guitar soon filled the air.  The boy tried a few chords and then settled into a bluesy melody, the bass strings alternating with the melodies and harmonies of the mid-ranges and trebles.  Almost a point and counter-point, the fingers  and thumb plucked at the strings, as the age-mellowed wood of the guitar’s body and the fine, old pickups faithfully rendered its tones through the amplifier. 

I love listening to a quality instrument in the hands of a good musician.

Half an hour later, he clicked the power button off on the amp and, unplugging the cable, carried the guitar back to where I sat.  The grin was back.

“Do you let just anybody play that guitar?” he asked as he handed it to me again.

I nodded my head.  “Most anybody.  It’s just a guitar.”

He shook his head doubtfully.  “I don’t get it.  If I had dropped it…”  His face fell as he considered the possibilities.

I had already considered those same possibilities.  Just then though, I was thinking about another event, many years ago and many miles away.

Becky and her young husband were aspiring to go to the mission field and were taking the first step, that of learning the language of the place they hoped to serve.

They had nearly no possessions and even less money, but Becky wanted to have a small get-together with her friends, other students at the small language school just a few miles north of Mexico in South Texas.

She invited them to come to tea at the little apartment in which she and her husband lived.  The only problem was, she didn’t have a tea pot.  She also didn’t have enough tea cups.

She asked the wife of the director of the language school if there was any way she could borrow some cups.  Oh, and a tea pot, if that wasn’t too much trouble.  The kind woman told her to come to her home and pick them up that afternoon.

Becky expected just a few mismatched cups and a kettle to be waiting when StrawberryTeaSetshe arrived.  Boy, was she in for a surprise!  What the director’s wife handed to her at the door was a very expensive–and very fragile–matched set of cups and saucers, along with a beautiful matching teapot.  They were quite old and obviously of great value.

Becky objected, but the owner of the dishes would not hear of it.

“I don’t have my heart set on it, Becky.  It’s just a tea set.  Use it and enjoy your time with your friends.”

I’ve never forgotten those words that Becky related to me, years ago.

I don’t have my heart set on it.

I thought of those words as I hung the old guitar back on its hook above my desk.  I will not lie to you.  Every time it gets hung back up undamaged, I am relieved.

That doesn’t mean that I would be devastated if it ever is not returned to its perch in that condition.  It’s just a guitar.

The Teacher suggested that there were two parts of the old Law which mattered most. 

Love God

Love your neighbor.

I’m still having more than a little trouble with the second part.  But, I am finding that working on the first part is shoving me along in achieving the other.  It seems that it may always be a work in progress.

I think what the Teacher meant is that people are more important than guitars.  Or tea sets.

That includes scroungy homeless young men.

They’re people.

Time to set our hearts on higher things.

 

 

 

“To love one’s neighbor is a tough command.  It works better for people who live far away.”
(C J Langenhoven ~ South African poet ~ 1873-1932)

 

 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth no rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
(Matthew 6:19-21 ~ NASB)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

We Fall Down

He really didn’t look like an angel.

No, seriously.  Not like an angel at all.  Not that I was looking for one.

It was Monday morning, after all.  There isn’t time to drink more than a few sips of my coffee at a time, much less be on watch for the stray angel.

Anyway, the first thing I noticed was his haircut.  In some places, the hair on his head was sticking out in tufts, but it was shaved to the scalp in others.  The only almost-normal thing about the haircut was the bushy pair of Elvis-style sideburns.  No, he didn’t look at all like my idea of an angel.

He didn’t smell like an angel, either.

At nine-thirty on Monday morning, one doesn’t expect to smell alcohol on a person’s breath, but there it was, almost making the air stiff as he talked.  I wondered about that.  What would make a man drink on a Monday morning?  I still don’t know the precise answer, but I do know he was unhappy.

I helped him find the items he needed.  As I gave him choices, he didn’t want to make them.

“I trust you completely, Paul.”  He said the words twice.

I know he meant it, but I’m always uncomfortable with being trusted completely.  I have been known to misunderstand what customers need.  The result isn’t always pretty.  But, that sentiment was about to be driven out of my thoughts.  You see, just as I was ringing up the sale and he was digging under his tee shirt for his debit card (I still don’t know exactly where it had been stashed), I noticed his arms.

Angels don’t cut themselves, do they?

The deep cuts in his skin nearly took my breath away.  It took me a second of two, but the proximity of each cut and the regular pattern of the gashes on his forearms left no question as to how they had gotten there.  He was definitely a cutter, a self-mutilator.  I’ve never known anyone with this problem–not that I was aware of anyhow.  That said, I do know that this type of behavior comes from a low self image, and the depression that accompanies thoughts of incompetence.  It was already evident that he had just such problems.

He had forgotten an item, so we found it and I helped him make another choice.  A third time, the words were spoken, “I trust you completely, you know.”

This time I had an answer–sort of.  I reminded him that I didn’t always make good choices for myself, let alone for other people.  He admitted that he knew I was human too (I really am, you know).

My next words were unplanned.  “You know, when I fall down, I just get up.  Everybody falls sometimes.”

He struggled with that a moment.  “I’m trying to get up, I guess.”  Moments later he headed for the door.

“Come back anytime you want.”  I said.  “I’m here ‘most every day.”

He looked back at me through bleary eyes.  “If I’m still around, I’ll come back.”

I wasn’t sure if I would ever see him again.  It’s hard to tell if you get through to people when they are impaired chemically, much less someone with the emotional baggage this man was living with.  It took only moments to find out the answer to that question.

His old battered pickup hadn’t been gone from the parking lot for five minutes when it pulled back up to the front door.  I wondered how this conversation would go, but it turned out that he only wanted directions to a different business on the same street.  I gave him instructions to the place, only a block away.

He replied, “I’m so stupid.  I’ll get lost; I know I will.”

I suggested that it wasn’t stupidity at all, but just that he needed better instructions.  I walked outdoors with him and to the street, where I pointed out the sign and parking lot of the business he wanted.  As we walked back toward his truck, he seemed encouraged.

“If we weren’t out here, I’d give you a hug.”

I’ve mentioned that I don’t really do the hugging thing, right?  But this guy needed the touch of another human.  I reached out my hand and gripped his firmly for a moment, finishing the action with a manly half-hug.  He was surprised, but quickly returned the grip, squeezing my hand like a vise.

I said the only words I had at that moment.  “God bless you, friend.”

There was a smile on his face for the first time.  “I’ll come back to see you soon.”

I believe he will.

Angel?  Probably not.

Still–I don’t know.

 

 

“Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it.”
(Hebrews 13:2-NLT)

“At the end of the day, compassion and love will win.”
(Terry Waite~English humanitarian and author)

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Alone

Alone again.  Naturally.

I sit here in the wee hours and, as I often do, contemplate the big questions.  Oh, sometimes the little questions pop up too–such as: I wonder if I burned enough calories on my bike ride earlier that I could eat some chips.  (The answer is always yes, no matter how far I rode.)

But more often than not, I think about life and death, or turmoil in the world, perhaps even about social change and justice.  I argue with myself about my faith, questioning those things I am dogmatic about in public.  I reflect on the path my life has taken.

Funny.  I love being with people.  I really do.  But, I don’t do much contemplating while I’m with people.  Surrounded by others who think much the same as I, I agree with them and commiserate about folks who disagree with the truth we know. 

We know.

By myself, I wonder.  I pray.  I consider.

In the dark and alone, I find the courage to take my faith out and examine it.  It’s not always a pretty picture.
____________________

“This roast beef is amazing, Mom!” 

The young man was talking with his mouth full, but the Lovely Lady didn’t mind.  She smiled and thanked him, as she passed the platter on around the table.

Hmmm.  I guess what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.  I have heard that ignorance is bliss.  I’m referring to what happened earlier that day, when no one else was around but the Lovely Lady and me.

The day before, while we were wandering the aisles of the local supermarket together, she handed the package to me.  It was huge. 

Huge.  Enough to feed twenty people.

But earlier on the day of the dinner, she stood in her robe at the kitchen counter, butcher knife in hand.  She wasn’t gentle.  Slicing here, cutting there, she removed the chunks of fat and inedible gristle from the beautiful, huge roast. 

It was not a pretty picture.  But, the result?  Perfection.

Absolute perfection.  Ask the young man.  Just don’t tell him about the lady in her robe.
____________________

Alone.  I examine what I believe and who I am becoming.  With friends earlier, I was almost proud of my accomplishments and how my faith in God has lead my steps to this point.

Perhaps proud is not the right word.  Maybe, I should say satisfied, or even content.

It is a pretty package.  I’ve wrapped it rather neatly, I must say.  And yet, I get the sense that what’s inside isn’t quite ready for consumption. 

Not quite…

He would never do it unless I invited Him

I can’t be trusted with the knife myself, you know.  It is an attribute I share with King David of old.  He recognized it, too.  That’s why he invited the inspection and the cutting. 

Search me, O God.  See if there be any sinful way in me.

It is a process that must be repeated.  Over.  And over.

I think it seldom takes place in the company of others.  At least, that is true for me. 

So, I sit alone and contemplate.  Well, not completely alone.

He’s here too, you know.

Somebody will have to use the knife.

 

 

“They only babble, who practise not reflection.”
(Edward Young ~ English poet ~ 1683-1765)

 

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
(Psalm 139: 23, 24 ~ NIV)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Fallen Hero

My disappointment was profound.

No.  Strike that.  My disappointment is profound.  Still.

Years after the release of the movie, I feel even now that familiar twist in my gut when I think about it.  I still imagine an apology from the screen-writer is forthcoming, and an amended version of the film will be released any day now.

I am, of course, speaking of the Lord of the Rings trilogy of movies.  It was a triumph of film-making.  The casting was nearly perfect, the special effects, spectacular.  The setting in which it was filmed remains one of its greatest triumphs; the scenic panoramas are breath-taking and awe-inspiring.

The movies had, however, a fatal flaw.  I may never recover from my disillusionment.

I am a LOTR nerd.

I refer, not to the aforementioned movie, but to the books.  I have worn out three sets of the paperbacks in reading and re-reading them over my adult life.  Each time I have picked them up, they have seemed fresh and exciting, even if at the same time they are like old friends–comfortable and familiar.

A good book is like that.  The books I don’t enjoy–those, I read once and place on the shelf, never to be opened again.  Good books invite a second (and third) reading.  Mr. Tolkien knew how to write a good book.

Ah.  But, you’re not all LOTR nerds, are you?  I’ll hasten on, if only to keep that glazed look from overtaking the reader’s eyes.

To get to the point, I’ll say this:  Mr. Tolkien wrote of heroes; the screen-writer for the movie series had no use for heroes.

Not perfect heroes, anyway.  And, therein lies my profound disappointment.

This hero wasn’t one of the main characters in the story, the individuals who are with you from start to finish.  No, the hero whose sullying I decry in the movie series is a relatively minor character named Faramir.  He almost doesn’t warrant a mention at all in the list of important protagonists in the story.

One_RingIn the film version of the story, Faramir is captured by the lust of the article of power, the One Ring, and very nearly brings disaster to the entire quest.  He takes the main characters captive and carries them far out of their way and into more danger before coming to his senses and releasing them and their ring.

I nearly shouted out loud in the movie theater as I watched the movie with a group of family and friends.  This man’s words are burned into my mind from the multiple times I have read the book.

“Not if I found it on the highway would I take it!”

Like all true heroes, Faramir wasn’t even tempted by the lust of power and fame.  It held no influence–none–over him, as he went about his duties as a heroic soldier with a clear heart.

I didn’t shout in the theater.  Not aloud, anyway.

To this day though, I feel I have been robbed.  Personally–robbed.

I want my hero back.  Unstained.  Unblemished.

You laugh.  Not without reason.

It seems a foolish grudge to bear, does it not–this trifle about the accuracy of a fictional hero’s character?  I myself still struggle with the rationality of it.  And, after all this time, I think I begin to understand why it affected me so.

I want my hero back, but I know–deep down–there is no such man walking the earth.  Not one.

Not one man who can keep his promises without fail.  Not one person who has never hurt anyone for selfish reasons.  Not a single human being who is free of the stain of lust and desire.

I once believed such people walked the earth.  I repent of that foolishness.  I have seen my own heroes fall, one after the other.  They fall from the pedestals they were put on, or climbed upon themselves, but they fall.

Eventually, they all fall.

HumanNot heroes.

Every one.

It’s actually a good thing, having all your heroes fallen.  The disappointment–the depressing certainty that all is lost–is profound at first, but it eventually gives way to hopefulness.  You see, if heroes can stand in their own strength, there is no hope for the rest of us.  We mere mortals who give in to our base nature, the sin nature passed down to us through our human DNA, again and again, have no hope as long as there is one single person who doesn’t need grace.

There was only one True Hero.  Ever.  Only one.

He saw the temptation on the highway and passed it by.  On his way to a cross, He passed it by.  Power and fame were nothing to Him.

He passed it by.  Because He loved us more.

I have told you repeatedly that I am forever grateful for grace.  Grace says to each of us, every fallen one of us, “You get to be a hero again. Not because of what you can do, but because of what He did.”

And when we fall again (and we will fall again), grace offers another chance to be a hero.  And another.  And another.

I like second chances.  There is still hope the quest may end in triumph after all.  And somehow, hope seems to me to be better than a nonexistent hero.

I’m still angry about Faramir though.

Are you listening, Peter Jackson?

 

 

 

“‘Not if I found it on the highway would I take it,’ I said. “Even if I were such a man as to desire this thing, and even though I knew not clearly what this thing was when I spoke, still I should take those words as a vow, and be held by them.  But I am not such a man.  Or I am wise enough to know that there are some perils from which a man must flee.”
(from The Return of the King ~ J.R.R. Tolkien ~ English author ~ 1892-1973)

 

 

“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in Me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.”
(John 14:12 ~ ESV)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

That Will Leave a Mark

She had her teeth buried in his thigh!

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a little girl express her displeasure at her father quite like it.  Moments before, all had been peaceful as she played at the little table we keep in the music store for youngsters just like her, accompanying their parents.  Normally, the toys on the table keep the children occupied and happy while their parents conduct business with us.

And so it had been, earlier in the day.  The Native American man, along with his pretty little girl, had dropped by to leave a guitar to be repaired.  The little miss had played happily while we discussed the work to be done.  It had taken a few minutes and I suppose her father had been just as happy for her to have the entertainment as she was to play there.  When they left, promising to return in an hour or two, the little tyke was all smiles, waving bye-bye enthusiastically.

What a difference two hours makes!

After lunch, the pair returned to retrieve the instrument.  The repair had gone smoothly and all the time that was necessary on this visit was a moment or two to check the repair and pay the bill.

Evidently, the young lady had intended this stay to last longer.

When her father told her it was time to go, she dallied for only a moment.  She stood up from the tiny chair and walked to the door behind him, obediently.  If I had been deaf, I would have thought she was happy to do his bidding.

I’m not deaf.  Her scream went right through me.

She screamed all the way out to the car.  She wasn’t crying, just screaming in anger.  Following him to the back of the car, where he placed his guitar in the trunk, she continued to scream.  But, when he came back around the side of the car to open the door, she was hugging his leg.  Quietly.

I breathed a sigh of relief.  Everything was all right.  The storm was over. She was probably even smiling.

Just then, I noticed where her face was.  It was against his thigh very tightly.

She was biting him through his blue jeans. Biting him!  No, she wasn’t smiling.

Calmly, he opened the door and lifted her from his leg, placing her in the car seat inside.  The only emotion he showed as he closed the passenger door gently and opened his own was to shake his head a little sadly.

I’m still trying to sort out my feelings.  Different cultures certainly have diverse ways of raising their children, but my reaction would have been considerably different.

Somehow though, the father’s reaction isn’t what I’m struggling with.  The child’s actions intrigue me.

She was obedient.  Obedient.

My mind jumps to the words from the Bible which many who grew up in the church are thinking about right now.

Children obey your parents

I’m smiling as I write.  The child obeyed her father, moving to the door when he instructed her to.  I’m not saying her heart was in it.  It wasn’t.  Nevertheless, she did as she was bidden.

But, there is something added to the words from the Bible I quoted above, isn’t there?

Honor your father and mother

Somehow, I don’t think there was much honor in those teeth buried in that man’s leg.  The little darling’s obedience came with a caveat.

Obedience isn’t always rendered with honor.

I’m not smiling anymore.

The little toddler can be excused for her selfishness.  She will grow into the knowledge of what is right and wrong.

Me?  I’ve already lived a few more years than she.  Quite a few.

The implications grow clearer in my mind.  If, in our relationship with our human parents, our obedience should be an outgrowth of the honor due them, how much more is that true in our relationship to God who is our Heavenly Father?

I wonder.

True obedience–the kind which comes from the heart–grows out of respect and honor.  Fear of repercussions and punishment only yields the obedience of a subordinate or slave.

Grace frees us from that fear.  Grace and love.

Time to quit screaming and baring my teeth, isn’t it?

Honor.  And, obedience.

There is still so much to learn.

Out of the mouths (and teeth) of babes…

 

 

 

“There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
(1 John 4:18 ~ NIV)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Sneakers

Cat_stalking_birdsStealthily, they creep
Like children on Christmas Eve down the stairs,
Or as cats track a mockingbird, all unawares.

They won’t be held back;
They don’t regard trifling things, like money.
Onward, onward they proceed, smoother than honey.

I have named them thieves,
Wayward gluttons, consuming all they touch;
What’s taken is gone, never returned, desired much

They are those and more.
But with another breath, I call them kind;
Too fair to be forgotten, the gifts left behind.

Thieves? Kind? Which are they?
I sit in my corner and try to decide;
Half full–Half empty–I can’t say, but I have tried.

Years have come and gone.
Treasures they’ve taken; Great gifts they’ve bestowed.
I have a record, a heritage, an abode.

Still years sneak by me
Rapidly now; so much faster they roll.
Yet God walks beside me; while I push to the goal.

 

 

“Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.  What is your life?  You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
(James 4:14 ~ NIV)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Come Down

It has been over ten years since we moved from the old house, but still I remember the exhilaration of sitting on the big wrap-around porch.  The house was situated on a corner, where the streets came up from the valley below. 

Seated on the porch, one could view traffic along the roads below.  Conversations could be heard, both amicable and contentious.  Often, one learned more than was desired about neighbors and passersby.

From that perch, it was easy to acquire an inflated opinion of oneself.  Well, I suppose I should speak for just myself and not for anyone else. 

I could sit on that elevated plane and imagine I was better than most any of the folks I observed.  Over time, this is what happens when we find ourselves separated from and elevated above others.  It is not our intention; it just happens.

In the brick house down the block, the husband’s work takes him on the road for long periods of time, so his wife is raising their children by herself.  When he is at home, they fight, the angry words wafting on the breeze up the hill.  When he is gone, the children run wild as their mom tries to balance work and parenting without a father present.

I would never be that irresponsible, either as a husband or a parent.

Late at night, another neighbor drinks to dull the pain of utter failure.  Failure to support his family adequately.  Failure in the past to protect his child, now dead because of a freak accident for which he blames himself.  Failure to understand his wife needs his attention–a failure which results in a trip to the emergency room as she attempts to end her own life.

He drinks and forgets his problems momentarily, singing country songs at the top of his lungs on his own front porch.  That porch is much lower down than mine, thank goodness.  His drunken voice rings throughout the neighborhood and I smile–a condescending, arrogant expression.

I would never be that pathetic.  Never.

Oh, but I have been.  More.

I have spent a lifetime in arrogance. 

It was never intentional.  It never is.

Arrogance grows, like a cancer, as we lose touch with the reality of our humanity–of our own sinful nature.  We separate ourselves physically from the world, keeping to ourselves in our palaces.

We sit on our elevated perches, whispering and pointing. 

Would you look at that

Did you see what she just did

Have you ever. . .?

Choosing our insults carefully, we avoid, with precision, any issue with which we struggle ourselves.  The more we practice, the better we get at it.

And, oh how we practice!

The lists we make of things we are not capable of grows and grows.  The rules we make for others based on our own strengths and abilities expands with the size of our heads.

ivorytowerIvory palaces. 

Towers of righteousness.  Self righteousness, that is.

I don’t live in the house on the hill anymore.  Perhaps that is a good thing.  Now when I sit on my front porch, the folks walking along the road are level with me.  They look over at me and smile (or frown) and I usually wave and speak to them.  Somehow, the realization that we walk and live on the same level changes my thinking.  Funny how that works.

The change in my attitude is not all as a result of moving into a different house.  Over the last few years, I have been shown (in various ways) my sinful nature.  I have become reacquainted with the reality of our fallen state.  My fallen state.

I have discovered anew the astounding miracle of grace. 

GraceAnd forgiveness.

Strange.  I thought those things were just gifts given to me from a gracious God through His Son.  It turns out they are gifts given which are meant to be shared.

It’s hard to share when one lives in a tower.

The Lovely Lady and I took a drive through the beautiful Ozarks on a recent Spring day.  As we drove, I noticed a number of imposing houses built along a particular bluff, high above the roadway upon which we traveled.

“How nice that would be,” I exclaimed to her.  “What a view!  You’d never even notice the noise of the highway way up there.”

And, even as I gazed upward with envy and wished to be able to afford such an abode, I realized the danger of dwelling in a place like that.  If one can’t hear the traffic, they forget there are people who have to struggle every day to get to their destinations.  When one is separated from others, he forgets we are all called to compassion as a way of life.

Concern for those with whom we rub shoulders requires that we actually rub shoulders with them.

The psalmist speaks of a King living in an ivory lined palace, with all its amenities and luxuries.  It is, in truth, the same King who left the comfort and safety of those towers to come down and live among us.

To rub shoulders with us.  To eat with us.  To work among us.  To teach us.

To die for us.

Out of ivory palaces.  He came down.

How can we do less?

Come down.

 

 

He was a friend to man, and lived
In a house by the side of the road.

(Homer ~ Ancient Greek Poet ~ ca. 800 BC)

 

 

Out of the ivory palaces,
Into a world of woe;
Only His great eternal love
Made my Savior go.

(Ivory Palaces ~ Henry Barraclough ~ 1891-1983)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

Past Meet Future. Future–Past.

Two significant events–no, three–took place in my little town a few days ago.  Two were scheduled to occur.  Their outcomes could have been forecasted, albeit with varying success.

I, being the hermit I have said I would never become, missed both events.  The reader will have to accept the following description of activities as coming, not from a witness, but from a story teller with the basic facts at hand.

The old folks (those in my peer group) got together at the community building to listen to and play music, as well as to spend a little time reminiscing about the past.  They called it a reunion.  By all reports, the evening was completely successful in achieving its purpose. 

More than a few folks, just past middle-age, had the chance to perform or listen to the music they were playing and singing forty years ago.  They saw people they hadn’t seen for years–or days, as the case may be.  The folks who were not gifted with the talent (or the nerve) to get up on stage visited, and danced, and sang along.

My friend Randy, being a musician of some repute, and being of the appropriate age, was honored to be on the stage.  He described the experience as outstanding.  His word.  Outstanding.  When the old folks’ soiree was winding down, he took his leave to play another gig in a popular restaurant across the street.

On the other side of town, at the local university, the young folks assembled at what might have seemed to be a similar event.  For weeks, the bands and individuals had been in preparation.  Songs had been written and re-written; lyrics memorized and revised.  Equipment was purchased, or repaired, or borrowed.

This night was the big event.  The best talent on campus would be selected by judges, as well as by the audience.  The prize was a recording session and an album for the winner.  Better than that would be the adulation of a thousand fans who would almost certainly cheer and stand throughout the event.

As in the other event across town, the stage was the focal point; the participants were celebrated one after another.  Music–and applause–filled the air.  Band followed band, and single acts took their turns as well.

When the battle was complete and the votes were in, Molly stood in the victor’s spotlight.  She was ecstatic–maybe even a little shocked.  What a rush of emotion and adrenaline, all at once.

Two events, one for folks almost over the hill, the other for folks just beginning life as young adults.  Truly an evening to put in the list of great memories for all involved.

But, wait a minute.  I thought there were three events?  What about the third one?

Oh yeah, that’s right.  Three.

Funny thing.  Randy went to play and sing at his little gig across the street from the old geezers’ get together.  Molly left the university and went down the street with a group of friends and landed at the little restaurant where the old guy was playing.

Sometime in the next hour, Molly decided that perhaps she could sing with Randy.  She didn’t know him, but she liked his music.  And, she had won her contest, hadn’t she?  She knew she could hold her own.

Randy readily agreed and they did some songs together.

OldYoung.

It will never work, right?  He’s one of the old has-beens from across the street.  She’s a winner with a future.  I’m thinking the old saying fits here–East is east and west is west, and never the twain shall meet.

I would be wrong.

The way I hear it, their duet on Amazing Grace is one of those moments I’ve talked about before, a moment that needs to be savored and then committed to memory.  A moment to pull out in future times and recall with joy and gratitude.

Someone today told me that at one point in the song you could see a visible shiver go through the gathered crowd as the two voices blended together.  It almost made me wish I hadn’t opted to stay home in my little cave with the Lovely Lady.  Almost.

photo by tableatnyOld. Young.

PastFuture.

They meet and they mesh, like gears in a machine, one nearly-complete function leading to the next.  The past teaches and encourages, while the future learns and adds its brilliant talents.  The hand-off in the relay has begun, the baton is ready to be passed.

As much as I enjoy the telling of the story, one that brings joy to my soul, I somehow also have a sense of sadness.  Oh, Randy and his friends at the reunion aren’t done yet.  They’ve got a good many years left, in which they’ll make music and receive and give pleasure in the making.

But, the future belongs to Molly and her fellow musicians.  Their stars are rising, regardless of how they choose to follow.

And, as I consider it, I realize why I am sad.  As happens frequently, the larger lesson of the past and the future has already been brought to mind earlier today.

I received news this evening of a friend from school days whose father passed away today.  My first reaction was to think about what it would mean to my friend.  Birthdays without him, holidays with an empty chair, moments that will never be shared with one who she loved.  She can never have him back again in this life.  Never.

The finality of death, at least to us still living here in what some call this vale of tears, is irreversible.  We can’t go back.  As long as we live, we will miss our loved one.  As long as we live.

Funny.  My mind jumps to other news from the last few days.  Babies are being born to my young friends at quite a brisk rate.  I have seen notice after notice of new life, babies desperately loved by their parents, and I am happy with them.  The future beckons.

I am struck with the realization that our Creator continues to sustain His handiwork in a way that brings both joys and sorrows, great losses and great gains into our lives. It has always been so.

The past moves on, and the future arrives.

Vale of tears?  Only if you include both tears of sadness and tears of joy.  I’ve cried both recently.  Many others have also.

I’ve quite a few of those moments in the past, both joyous and melancholy, which have been saved and are brought to memory now and then.  That doesn’t mean that there won’t be more in the future.  I’m looking for more to add to my collection, every day.

The future is looking better all the time.

I believe I’ll keep moving.

Ahead.

 

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”
(Jeremiah 29:11 ~ NIV)

 

“Remember that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
(Vicki Corona ~ American dance instructor/author)

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.

It May Come Out Today

After rain, comes the sunshine.  Dark days cannot last forever.

I want to believe that.  Every time the darkness has surrounded me, I have considered it a temporary thing.  Illness, sadness, fear–each has its ending.  There is light to be seen at their certain conclusion.

It was, I believe, the poet Henry Longfellow who said it most famously:  Into each life some rain must fall.  Not so famous, but every bit as important, is another line from the same poem which reminds us that behind the clouds is the sun still shining.

We laugh at the naivety of Annie the orphan as she sings the sun will come out tomorrow, but we are almost certain of the truth the words convey.

Almost.

I do meet folks who have no hope of seeing the sun again.  They have given up on the idea that behind their clouds is the light of day.  Staying too long in the dark can make us forget how brilliant the light actually is.  It may even cause us to doubt that there ever was such a thing as light.

I’m going to go with Annie and Hank on this one. 

Sometimes, we are surprised to find that the sun will come out today, even.

This was such a day.  The weather forecast called for rain.  Ninety percent chance of it. 

All day.

I sat this morning, in my easy chair and moped.  That’s right–moped.  I had intended to tend to my yard today.  In fact, I had neglected it for the last week and a half with this morning specifically in view.  Saturday–Saturday, I would mow and trim. 

Saturday arrived and it was raining, with no chance of a reprieve.  I would have to give up an evening next week, an evening for which I already had plans.

I moped. The rain outside was creating a storm inside. 

She didn’t appreciate it much.  And, she wasn’t going to have me under her feet all day feeling sorry for myself.

What she said was, “Let’s go get something to eat.  You may feel different after you do something.”

Oh well.  It was better than sitting there hungry and moping.  At least after we got done at the restaurant, I’d only be moping.  We went.

I sat at the table with the Lovely Lady and we talked.  We laughed.  We ate.  Biscuits and gravy.  Comfort food.  Eaten in good company.

When we walked out of the restaurant, I looked up.

“Hey!  I see blue sky over there!”

It was true.  The rain was still falling, but over in the west, a slash of blue cut through the rain clouds.  Perhaps it was a sign. 

We stopped to put gas in the car and I stepped out from under the canopy to look at the sky again.  The slash of blue was now a whole lake of brilliance, shoving the gray of the clouds apart. 

Sun_through_cloudsThe muddled gray skies were giving way to the brightness of the sunlight I had anticipated and desired.  And in just the same manner, I realized that my gray mood had disappeared, going where, I had no idea.  Good riddance, anyway!

I stood, just moments ago, in my back yard.  Smelling the fresh cut grass and seeing the neatly trimmed edges along the sidewalk, I smiled.

Today.

Sometimes, it will even come out today.

You might want to get your sun screen out.

 

 

 

 

 

So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their ending.

(from The Hobbit ~ J.R.R. Tolkien ~ English writer/poet ~ 1892-1973)

 

He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

(Matthew 5:45 ~ NIV)

 

 

The Rainy Day

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast,
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

(Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~ American poet ~ 1807-1882)

 

 

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2015. All Rights Reserved.