Are We Having Fun Yet?

The man said, “I’m planning to go…if the weather looks like it will be okay.

I have proof he said it.

I would have just gone on Wednesday.  I should have just gone on Wednesday.

Instead, I put on my gear, my gloves, my helmet, my shoes—yes, even my lycra shorts—and went to the old Post Office to await the start of the group bike ride.

The weather didn’t look like it would be okay.  If Christopher Robin had been there with an umbrella saying, “Tut. Tut. It looks like rain,” I would have believed him.  It did look like rain.

We rode anyway.  Five miles we rode north, thinking we’d skirt the precipitation, which looked to be heading south.  It didn’t work.

We rode in the rain.  A total of thirty miles.  Eight of us rode.  Side by side.  Stretched out in a line.  Scattered a quarter of a mile apart.  We rode in the rain.

I had a reason for being there.  I don’t know about the rest of the idiots.

My friend—the one who sent that text—is going halfway around the world for a year.  He’s leaving next week.  I wanted to have a last ride with him.

So, we rode.  In the rain.  For a reason.

Do you ever wonder why?  Why am I doing this now?  Here?  In this dismal circumstance?  Is it worth it?

I wondered. I did.

As I struggled to see through the moisture-laden lenses of my glasses, each one covered with a hundred little kaleidoscopes of water beads, I counted the cost.

When the water splattering up from the tires of the seven other cyclists in the group drenched my socks and soaked my cleated leather and cloth shoes, I considered the foundational reason for my current circumstances.

And then, as I rode close behind the cyclist ahead of me, my front tire just inches away from his rear one, attempting that all-important labor-saving maneuver—drafting—I got a faceful of dirty water.  The rooster-tail of moisture splattering up from that tire hit me full in the face, turning the kaleidoscopes on my glasses into chocolate mud I could barely see through.

Still, as I backed off from the airborne cataract, my straining eyes peered at the back of the fellow whose bicycle was the source of the annoyance.  I could read—just barely—the words printed on his cycling jersey:

If it’s not fun, why do it? 

I couldn’t help it.  The laugh just came out; from somewhere down near my belly, it erupted.

Why, indeed?

But now, a few days on, and a shower or two having helped to rid all the wrinkles in this old body of the residual mud, I’m not laughing.

I don’t know about anyone else, but somehow this road I started down under blue skies and with gentle breezes has turned downright uncomfortable.  The gear I pulled on before the ride began protects me not at all from the elements—neither the driving rain nor the blazing hot midday sun.

Somewhere along the way, the gentle rolling slopes bordered by pleasant meadows became a mountain climb with sheer dropoffs on either side.

I’m not having fun anymore.

Maybe it’s time to turn back.

But, something tells me it was never about fun.

Somehow, I get the feeling it was never about comfort.

And the Teacher told His followers that they would have trouble along the way.  Understanding their concern at that prospect, He went on to remind them that He had been all along the way and they needn’t be fearful since He had finished the entire course.  Not only finished it but had been victorious.  (John 16:23)

There are things in this world worth suffering through. 

There are.

There are things in this world worth suffering through. There are. Share on X

Friends (and people in general) are worth getting wet for.  Telling the truth is worth being laughed at for.  Being generous to a neighbor is worth doing without ourselves.

Standing firm in the storm, when that’s all we can do, is worth the toil and danger.

We’ll finish the ride up ahead.  In front of us.  Through the rain and grime.  And the heat and sweat.  And the climbing and weariness.

Ahead.

As we approached the end of our ride the other day, my friend who is headed overseas rode beside me into town.  At a corner not far from his home I made a left turn.  He went straight.  Several blocks on, me having made a right turn and he having made a left turn, we met up again.

Strange, how that happens.

He’ll leave next week for the other side of the world and I’ll stay here.  Both of us, still on the journey.

The same journey.

Headed for the same goal.  It’s where he always says he wants to end up when we start out on a bike ride.

Home.

You could ride with us, too, you know.  Side by side.  Or in single file, drafting.  Except when it rains.

Headed home.

Soon.

 

 

 

It is said that as many days as there are in the whole journey, so many are the men and horses that stand along the road, each horse and man at the interval of a day’s journey; and these are stayed neither by snow nor rain nor heat nor darkness from accomplishing their appointed course with all speed.
(Herodotus ~ Greek historian ~ 5th century BC)

 

 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
(Philippians 3:14 ~ NLT ~ Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2018. All Rights Reserved.

 

Esse Quam What?

I’m not sure they’re right.

I’m not sure they’re wrong, either.  They could be.

But they could be right, too.

I made a mistake the other day—one I thought I could rectify with minimal effort.  I wrote a cute little note about my recent experience with the Internal Revenue Service and posted it on social media. 

I was trying to be funny.  It was a little funny.  A little.  And, come to think of it, more than a little snarky.

In the post, I suggested that the IRS folks I had dealt with by telephone that day weren’t very good with numbers.  Just a little sarcastic tweak at the huge bureaucracy’s nose.

The problem is, I don’t like to be seen as snarky.  I don’t want to be thought of as not nice.  So, I added a few words.  Just a few.  To make myself look better.

. . .I don’t get to keep the large sum they sent me this week. I’m okay with that.

They did the job.  The words, I mean. Making myself look better.

The check was for a huge amount.  To my mind, anyway.  The fellow on the phone, who took nearly an hour to decide, told me it was mine to keep.  Well, mine and the Lovely Lady’s.

Only, I knew it wasn’t.

The next day, armed with documentation, I called them again and, taking another hour out of my life, convinced the kind lady that the money wasn’t mine.

She told me where to mail the check.

My friends think I have integrity.

As I said, they could be right.  I think they may not be.

I want them to be.  Right, that is.

Can we talk about integrity?  Again?

I’ve written about it before.  If you’ve read those articles, you may remember I used the example of a piece of cloth, woven neatly and with good thread. In my mind, it’s the very definition of integrity.

The cloth is stronger than the sum of the threads.  But, I’m not.  Stronger, I mean.

In the back of my mind, I know the cost of keeping money that doesn’t belong to me.  Oh, I don’t mean the guilty feelings that come inevitably.  And, they will come.

What I mean is, I’ve seen what the IRS does when it realizes it made a mistake.  The penalties.  The interest charges.  The seizing of the entire bank account until their agents are satisfied.

And, again in the back of my mind, I wonder; did I send the money back because I don’t want to pay that penalty?  Was I afraid I’d get caught?  That’s not integrity.

It’s not.

Integrity is about doing the right thing.  Because it’s the right thing.

Period.

Integrity is about doing the right thing. Because it's the right thing. Period. Share on X

It’s the whole cloth holding together, because every thread is in its place, doing what it does.  Strong.  Steadfast.

I like to read.  A lot.  I learn from reading.  Good things.  Bad things.  And, at my age, I keep wondering when I’ll have learned all the new things I can glean from other writers.

Obviously, not yet.

The other day, as I read a historical novel, the description of a phrase inscribed above the entrance to some imaginary palace caught my attention.  Arrested my attention.  Made me read it again.  And, yet again.

You’ll understand when you read it for yourself.

Esse quam videri

See what I mean?

Oh, sorry.  Latin may not have been the right language in which to introduce the concept.  Let me make a literal translation (from a Latin dictionary; not from my feeble brain) for you.

To be as seen.

It’s often expressed as to be, rather than to seem.  That’s okay, but I like the literal, word-for-word, translation better.  We in the computer age have a similar phrase, expressed in equally unintelligible language.

WYSIWYG

What you see is what you get.  It works with computers. Not so much with humans.

It should.

Why does God have to look on the inside, while man is fooled by outside appearances? (1 Samuel 16:7)

Why aren’t they the same thing? 

Facades, masks, clever disguises—we manage to look the part, one way or another.  Even we who claim to follow Jesus have our deceptions in place.

Alive and beautiful on the outside. But, what if there’s death and decay on the inside?

The world is not wrong when it labels us hypocrites.  The word simply means, actors.  Someone who pretends for his/her livelihood.  I don’t know many in the world who are not that themselves, but it should be different for us. 

It should.

Mr. Lewis may be accurate when he says that integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching, but there’s more to it than that.  A lot more.

Integrity is about telling the truth even when it costs.  It’s about being generous even when one is impoverished.  It’s about controlling my tongue when all around folks are sharing the latest gossip.  It’s about not drinking the milk from the carton even when the Lovely Lady isn’t looking.

It’s about all those things.  But, those things aren’t integrity.

Integrity isn’t about doing.  It’s about being.

Integrity isn't about doing. It's about being. Share on X

Because what is in the heart is what will always—eventually—bubble up to the surface.  The thing that is at the bottom of who I am, my very foundation, is the thing I will do and become.

A word of caution.  If I believe myself to be a man of integrity and proclaim it to be so, you should assume there is some filthy secret hidden in that foundation that will become known soon.  I’ve seen it too many times.  You have too. 

The apostle who loved to write letters, my namesake—who, by the way, had reason to understand the principle personally—suggested that when we believe we are standing firmly on both feet, we should be careful not to get hurt in the fall. (1 Corinthians 10:12)

I want to be a man of integrity.  Want to be. 

I’m not that man.  Too often, my integrity is guaranteed only by the odds that someone is watching, or that someone will eventually uncover my offense.

But, I want to be that man.

Someday, I will be him.

No mask.  No facade.  No disguise.

Esse quam videri

To be as seen.

 

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
(Philippians 1:6 ~ NLT ~ Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

 

The image is one thing, and the human being is another.  It’s very hard to live up to an image, put it that way.
(Elvis Presley ~ American singer/entertainer ~ 1935-1977)

 

 

© Paul Phillips. He’s Taken Leave. 2018. All Rights Reserved.